The most maluable asset is time

What is your most valuable asset?

While writing this, I am on the flight to Austin, Texas. I will participate in a seminar from Keith Cunningham. On the flight, I am listening to his book “The Road Less Stupid“. It inspired me to think about the most valuable asset. Which brought up this idea:

Sharing my thinking time about the most valuable asset with you, my dear!

What is the most valuable asset? It’s time!

Time is your most valuable assetTo do so,

– I will send you 2 to 3 times a week questions about a thinking time issue
– until the next day we collect our ideas
– on the third day, we evaluate the ideas and decide which one we are going to implement
– then it starts over again with the next issue

Due to being a big fan of simplicity, effectivity, and frugalism, I want to start with thinking about “saving time”. Because time is our most valuable resource. It creates space to do things, that improve your life, health, wealth, growth, vitality and happiness. So, saving time provides you with the biggest benefit. Apart from, if you are permanently bored. But I can’t see that risk in your case. Here are the thinking time questions for today:

  • What am I not doing anymore?
  • What would I recommend you, not to do anymore?
  • Which of my habits doesn’t produce results?

Find and share at least 3 ideas within the next 24 hours. Write down what comes spontaneously into your mind. Perfectionism is not an issue here. The more ideas the better. Spontaneous ideas need less time, so you are already implementing one time-saving method!

If you think you don’t have time for this exercise and taking care for your most valuable asset, means that you would have the biggest benefit from it! So, here are the questions, once again:

  • What am I not doing anymore?
  • What would I recommend you, not to do anymore?
  • Which of my habits doesn’t produce results?

My ideas about my most valuable asset are:

What am I not doing anymore?

  • Training up to 5 times a week. Only training 3 times a week, up to 1 h maximum with high intensity, e. g.
    • Cardio e.g. running, swimming cycling
    • Strengthning e. g. dumbles or weight liftig
    • Mindfullness e. g. yoga, streaching, tantric energy
  • Stop oversleeping, having 1 to 3 rests during the day, lifting night sleep to 6 h max
  • Working longer than 90 minutes continuously
  • Not writing blogs in German anymore, English only. Let Google translate it.
  • Having someone who does the German translation for me
  • Planing the outcome of tomorrow before I fall asleep. Then concentrate on the single most essential task

What would I recommend you, not to do anymore?

  • protect your most valuable assetClose the door behind you, when working.  And put an “ON AIR” sign with a sculp on the outside, e.g. while producing music, learning, writing or having your thinking time. So that nobody disturbs you and to avoid interruptions.
  • Only have those things on the table, I currently need to get my current job done.
  • Concentrate on a single task. No drinks, snacks, cigarettes while working. Nor playing with the smartphone, telephone calls, WA, FB, Emails while eating.

Which of my habits doesn’t produce results?

  • Instead of mentoring Chris individually, adding him to the mastermind
  • Not doing social media myself anymore
  • Removing those participants from the mastermind who don’t contribute

One member of the mastermind group came up with the following ideas:

  1. What am I not doing anymore?
    Because someone knows more about a particular subject than I do, I would never assume their advice on that subject is right for me.
  2. What would I recommend you not to do anymore?
    Do not talk about lack and limitations, unless you want more of the same
  3. What am I doing due to a habit which doesn’t produce results?
    Complaining about the changes in my company

Another member came up with these thoughts:

  • What am I not doing anymore?
  1. Let me persuade to dispose of any rubbish from tenants or the like.
    • Listen to boring stories of things that I do not really care about. (Keep your hard drive clean and clean.)
    • Do not feed your mind with any junk you do not care about, a quote from the series “Elementary” (Sherlock Holmes).
    • Endless phone calls with interested customers lead but, as quickly as possible but also as necessary, come to the point and arrange a visit.
    • pointless visits reduce Ala “I wanted to stop by”
    • waste (personal) too much time with Instagram etc.
    • Expand email templates to save time when answering emails
  2. What do you recommend to me to stop doing?
    • Check out what’s fun and then stop doing things that make you unhappy
    • To deal with Apple devices: D
    • Possibly. also from other digital things that will kill you like Newsletter2go etc.
  3. What do I do out of habit, which brings no results?
    • To be the good-natured one
    • Do things quickly and in between that just distract me
    • Listening to stories that do not interest me in principle


… and join the mastermind today

Sad Mood - Snap out of it

Sad Mood – Snap out of it

 

Sad mood?

Sad Mood - Snap out of itThe weekend is always a good time to look back on your achievements during the last week. Yesterday I had an emotionally pretty shitty day with a sad mood. 🤬 I think that happens to everyone once in a while. So my question was: How to snap out of it?

I realized that I needed to snap out of it. To get rid of my sad mood, I analyzed the best decisions in my life. Actually, the most of them where pretty hard to make. And I came up with a list of 13 decisions, I made in the past. First of all, I added all of them to my success journal. Doing so gave me back a lot of my energy. Because it made me aware, that oneself puts down the seeds for one’s successes!

To snap out of it

I want to encourage you, to think about the best decisions in your life. And to write them down. If you are smarter than me, and I guess that you are,  you will do it, before you get into a sad mood. Because it doesn’t need a bad day to do so, it actually should be much easier to do it on a good day. 😆 But if you are already in a sad mood, this exercise will help you to snap out of it!

I came up with a list of my best decisions:

As a second step to snap out of it

Change your sad mood into energy

Bring the list in of your best decisions a sequence. That should be pretty easy. My list looks like that now:

  • 2008 getting divorced
  • 2009 founding Rooms4Music
  • 2011 reading 📖 “Der Weg zum erfolgreichen Unternehmer”
  • 2012 focusing on health as my #1 value
  • 2013 visiting Tony Robbins seminars
  • 2014 visiting Bodo Schäfer Seminars
  • 2015
    • monogamy is a fallacy
    • selling my house in Ludwigsburg, Germany
  • 2016
    • putting money on the stock market
    • participating in the workation in Bali
    • spending the majority of my time in Bali
  • 2017
    • leaving Germany and moving to Hanoi
    • putting Rooms4Music in Chris’s hands
  • 2018 bringing Rooms4Music back onto the success path and cutting costs

Now it becomes a bit more difficult, but it is an effective

Treatment of a sad mood, to snap out of it:

Analyze if you can see a pattern, which carried from one decision to the next, from one level of your development to the next higher level. I found it helps if you add the outcome of your decisions to the list.

  • 2008 getting divorced = Found the love of my life and shared the best years of my life with her.
  • 2009 founding Rooms4Music = becoming independent from my job in 2012 and living entrepreneurial freedom
  • 2011 reading 📖 “Der Weg zum erfolgreichen Unternehmer” = turning my self-employment into a self-running enterprise
  • 2012 focusing on health as my #1 value = discovered running as my new passion, started yoga and improved my movability and flexibility especially in my mind

The biggest change in my mindset and to snap out of it was

  • 2013 visiting Tony Robbins seminars = understood the psychology of people better, especially my own, I realized that freedom (of mind, traveling, sexual, financial) is my highest value
  • 2015
    • visiting Bodo Schäfer Seminars = developed my plan for financial freedom, an investment strategy, and  asset allocation
    • selling my house in Ludwigsburg, Germany = became financially independent
    • monogamy is a fallacy = freedom of mind, sexual freedom, much more relaxed and natural relationships with women, sharing and enjoying more tantric energy than I ever dreamed of
  • 2016
    • putting money on the stock market =
      • I started trading and becoming an investor,
      • started to enjoy the volatility of the market.
      • Finally, I learned to stay calm, if the market is going against my expectation and
      • becoming financially independent.
    • participating in the workation in Bali = falling in love with Bali and the idea of working location independent
    • spending the majority of my time in Bali = living my dream and making 2017 the best year of my life
  • 2017
  • 2018 bringing Rooms4Music back onto the success path and cutting costs. =
    • Making 2018 to the most successful year in terms of
      • turnover,
      • profit and as a result of that
      • the value of the enterprise.

Prevention of sad mood

Now comes the real challenge:

After you did this analysis, extrapolate to the next decision. That will carry you to the next level of your development. Chose one or two new ones, which is the most charming for you, and take a decision. This will help you to prevent you from getting into a sad mood. I am not promising you, that you will never ever get back into a sad mood again. But as long as you got clarity of your direction due to your decision, it is pretty unlikely to fall back into it. If it still appears, it just means, you are not focussing on it anymore, or it is time to go through the procedure once again.

If you want some more background information and inspiration for that, listen to

That will give you some understanding of how it psychologically works and encourage you to take the next step. But you don’t need to understand it, to use the procedure. Likewise, you don’t need to understand how a gearbox works, to be able to drive a car.

For me the next decisions are:

  • living a happy vital life of physical and mental fitness of 150+ years
  • developing Rooms4Music into a 10.000.000 € company

Remember, not achievement, but

Steady growth is the source of everlasting happiness!

fallacy of time management

Logical Fallacy of Time Management

Instead of asking: What will I do when?
We should rather think about:

Why shall I do what?

fallacy of time managementManaging our urgent tasks is the Logical Fallacy of Time Management. We should manage our tasks depending on how essential they are. To be able to do so, we need to know what we want to achieve in our life.

This is much easier, if we have written down our dreams and targets. To find the next required step, it is good to reread your dreams and targets, in order to stay focused. Then think about the next little task, that you are going to initiate today.

Can you feel, how your focus shifts from urgent to essential?

Inborn Logical Fallacy of Time Management

The damn thing is: We are genetically programmed to focus on the urgent stuff. If a dinosaur did hunt your grand-grand-…-parents, they did run! And they did not think about, what would be the next essential step to becoming spiritually enlightened! Nor they sat down and smoked a cigarette to think, what would be the best in this situation?

This instinct to take care for the urgentcy in this situation, saved their life. And by acting like this, they were able to protect our species. So we should be grateful for this instinct, because we are alive due to it!

How to overcome the Logical Fallacy of Time Management

Nowadays dinosaurs are not around anymore. So other things came into our lives, that we consider as urgent, e.g.:

  • the taxman,
  • our boss,
  • being on time for a date,
  • deadlines,
  • and schedules.

Which is good, if you have thought about the priorities first! And if you shedule the most of your time for tasks, that serve your dreams and targets! By doing so, you made your essential tasks urgent. So your basic instinct of focusing on the urgent stuff serves your essentials!

So, go and review your dreams and targets to overcome the Logical Fallacy of Time Management. Then choose the next little step and schedule it for the next week … just to make it urgent!

… because this also makes you happier!

Satisfying All Human Needs

Why am I running marathons?

Because it is satisfying all human needs.

You arrive at the finish line as a different person than the one who started. Getting runners high during the race is like a meditation, which even supports mental growth. The training is turning the body into a fat burning machine which gives me physical growth.

The challenge of each run is an adventure: Am I able to finish? Which gives me a challenge and some uncertainty.

To do something most people never do is very attractive to me because it fulfills the need to be outstanding and significant.

If I can run for several hours, I also can make love for a loooonnng time. Yes, I experienced that it even makes me a better lover: I can contribute better to my partner’s satisfaction.

The endurance I got from the training helps me in reaching out for higher targets, which gives me the certainty of being able to reach anything I want.

I enjoy the rhythm of the steps and it is a wonderful pace to experience nature or urban regions. The additional oxygen clears my mind and lets me think better. It makes my body stronger and more attractive and I do love myself, everybody else, the world and the universe better for experiencing that.

Writing this, I just realized, that it fulfills all six human needs. Actually, anything that fulfills more than three human needs is addictive. Probably the real reason to do it, again and again, is:

I am addicted to running!

 

How Vitality4Happiness satisfies your six human needs (according to Tony Robbins):

how to build confidence

How to Build Confidence – Success Journal

I had a conversation about how to build confidence with a wonderful lady. She told me:

– I lost my confidence.

Klaus Forster: #1 Do you write daily your success journal?

😔 no

Klaus Forster: Do you know how to do it?

– I think I know, but I would be happy if you could give me a guidance.

Klaus Forster:

#2 Put a daily reminder in your calendar, that reminds you, about 1 hour before you usually get to sleep.

#3 If you really want me to help you, send me every day a copy of your success journal.

#4 Read your past successes in your success journal from time to time, especially when you are low on energy.

How to build confidence? 

Write daily in your success journal

Whenever you feel low on energy or unmotivated, it is either due to a lack of confidence or you don’t have clear targets. In the worst case, both at the same time!

Why is this connected with each other?

High motivation just means you got a lot of energy. That means the simple equation looks like this:

Motivation = Energy

This part of the equation is pretty obvious, and everyone can confirm that from his own experience.

But what has it to do with how to build confidence and your clear targets?

Motivation =  Targets * Confidence

This most likely needs some more explanation. But think about a situation where you had a big dream e. g. owning an own villa with a wonderful garden, a garage full of fancy cars and employees that are serving you. But you were not confident enough to believe that you can reach it. Have you been able to get started? No, your motivation and energy were almost zero. Because

Zero Confidence * Targets = Zero Energy = Zero Motivation

Your energy level after working for a while in a new job:

The other day, you got a new job and you were confident after getting the contract signed, that you will do it really well. But your boss did forget to tell you what your targets are. So you were not able to make the decision in which direction you need to work. You tried out several directions, but after a while, you realize it is not producing results. So you keep losing your motivation and energy. And even worse, after a while also your confidence. This is the frustration phase.

This was not only your fault because as an employee you are working on targets of other people. But you can prevent it by asking for the clarification of your target. Actually, you must ask! Asking for it is your responsibility if they are not clear.

Let’s switch the perspective: Now you are the boss!

Have you ever had a new employee who seemed to be motivated? Sure, most employees are highly motivated when they start a new job. But after some time every new employee loses his motivation. How can you help him? Look at the second equation. There are two things for you to work on:

1. Clarify the targets

2. Improve her or his self-confidence

how to build confidence

Agree with him on targets, that seem to be achievable for him. This supports both, the clarification of the targets and – if he believes that he can make it – it improves your employee’s self-confidence at the same time. The other thing is to encourage her or him to write a daily success journal.

By the way, everyone is going through this frustration phase, each and every time when you are learning something new. The more enthusiastic you are in the beginning the deeper the frustration phase will be. You are pretty well off, if you wrote down your successes during the enthusiastic phase, to be able to read them in the frustration phase.

So how to do it on your own, just for your own motivation and energy?

On the first thing, we will work in our business retreats, where we dig deep into our values to find out about our mission, vision and break them down into clear and achievable targets. And the second thing is, to write your success journal.

How to build confidence: For how long do you need to do it?

The great news is: Not forever! I would recommend, just to do it only as long as you live!

How to build confidence: How does it work?

Thinking about your day and concentrating on your successes is a priming exercise. This is very similar to writing a gratitude journal. It makes your brain focus on the positive things of the day. The best time to do it is just before you go to sleep. So you subconscious keeps working on it all night. This brings the fastest results.

How to build confidence: Make the best use out of your success journal

Whenever you feel low on energy you can read in it, which gives you a kick for your self-confidence. Also reviewing your targets helps. Both require that you wrote it down before! By the business retreat, we make sure that you will have clear targets written down. And for your success journal, get someone with authority whom you respect, who does not rely on a good relationship to you. Have this person controlling you, that you write your success journal every day, at least 5 days a week.

During our next

Business Retreat in Bali

we will also train to write the success journal and focus on the successes. After that, you will be doing it almost automatically.

 

increase the value of your business

How to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business

I was listening to the audiobook “The Road Less Stupid” and I enjoyed it because it added a lot of new ideas to my entrepreneurial thinking time.


Today is the most essential day of your life. Thinking time is the most valuable time of your day.

One controversial question about how to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business I got out of it is:

“If I would be my competition:
What would I do, to create the biggest damage to my business?”

It means: My own company is A, and my competition is B. What would I do, in the role of company B = my competitor? If I would be company B, what could I do, to damage company A’s = my business?

The first thing to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business that came to my mind was not very charming: “A shit storm on Facebook” 😮 So I posted the following question to the members of my mastermind group:

Klaus Forster:
The best thinking time question I got today is: If I would be my competition, what would I do if I’d be my competitor to create the biggest damage to my business?

This started a lively conversation about it with a lady, who was working for television. Where they need to attract a lot of attention. Due to the fact, that bad news is selling better, they need to come up with bad news.

Let me share her story about how to ruin someone’s life or business:

It kinda remind me of my argue with one of my producer long time ago, probably 14 years ago. So one day our competitor TV series got into number 1. My producer said “So what can we make to take them down?” My reply was I don’t want to create something to take someone down, that is not a good intention. If I want to create something my intention should be to make something good that people can enjoy and add value to their life.

He was angry. So we created something and we only managed to get into top 10. He was even more angry when my other TV series, which I made with another TV company made it to number 1. He thought I paid more attention to the other company.

Thinking it in another way

The truth was, when I created that TV series I put all my heart into it. I did my research about the hospital, medical doctors, met survivors, that was why the series seemed real and touched many people’s heart. The story was about a teenagers having leukemia having to deal with her sickness. Her family breaking down because of it, her boyfriend and friends going away. And at the end she realized, that the only person that will stand up is herself. And when she finally did, it pulled all her beloved back. Because they look up to her. So for me what important is your intention, success, attention, everything will follow.

The reason why I put all of my heart was because the producer had the same vision of creating something to add more value to life, not to take someone down. So we did what we could to make it good by spending time on research and stuff.

Other mastermind members added to these thoughts on: how to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business

  • I like that intention and believe, that if you go around trying to damage others, you damage yourself, in the long term.
  • Yes, there is no point of going out, to taking one down.

Klaus Forster:
I agree, and it is NOT the direction I like to think 🤔 either, because it NOT conforms to my business ethics. Because I think it is not a good idea at all to ruin someone’s life or business. Even though, I want to encourage you to keep on thinking about dirty tricks, illegal or non ethic methods!

It is NOT at all about implementing these ideas, but rather to find the real weak point of your own business. So that you can act on it.

  • I see, now I get it, it is more thinking of what your competitor could do to damage you. So you can improve in that area.
    Good thinking Klaus, thank you for making us seeing this.

Switching perspective to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business

Switching the perspective really gave me some good inspirations, which are worth thinking about deeper:

  1. “How to get as much of attention as from a shit storm?”
  2. “How can I provide more customer benefits by doing it?”

After thinking about that for a while, I came up with the ideas:

  1. Posting something, that is so funny that it goes viral, instead of a shit storm.
  2. Sending a test buyer to my competitor, instead of sending one only to my business.

So I would be able to create positive attention and to get the information, in which field we are doing worse than our competition?

Before I stepped into my competitor’s role, I was only able to think a test buyer checking my own business. Changing into company B’s perspective, enabled this idea. Doing this, I can learn about the customer experience they provide. Which brings me nearer to the answer to the initial question. So please, hare your ideas about how to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business in the comments below.

Probably you are curious why I chose the almost misleading title: How to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business. The reason for it is, some considerations about …

Learning at the Business Retreat

the search engine optimization for this blog. After checking the most frequently used keywords in my initial text, I found out that business, competition, and damage were the most frequently used once. So I put them in Google Adds keyword planner and played around with some phrases that contained these words.

Entepreneur SEO

One suggested phase was: How to Ruin Someone’s Life. It is getting seared for between 1.000 and 10.000 times a months and has a low competition. Further, I considered this issue as controversial, that it has the chance to go viral. And many people will read it, and – hopefully – benefit from it. So without doing anything bad to the competition, I implemented both of my ideas from my thinking time about in this blog.

Review on “How to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business”

(Sept. 20, 2018) Three months after publishing this blog, I analyzed with Google Webmaster Tools which of my pages and blogs are appearing the most frequently in the google search results. And it turned out, that this one appeared most frequently! It also had the highest click rate. But I learned, that the visitors of this blog stayed about 2 minutes in average, with is about 40% below the average time of the pages. This only lasts, to read half of it. And that almost all visitors left my webpage without referring to another page of it. So I learned, that I need to make the first part of the text more appealing. And that I need to offer more value to the visitors of the blog, by adding links to other related issues on my webpage. Learn more about Search Engine Optimization.

If you’d like to improve your business and share inspiration with other female entrepreneurs, sign up for the

Entrepreneurs Mastermind Group

Female Entrepreneurs

You can find the audiobook “The road less stupid” here: http://a.co/5oUfXNm

 

 

Take your thinking time about: How to Ruin Someones Life or Business

Source: Amazon

I Think About You And Me

I keep reminding you of thinking time, and you probably think: “I read that already a few times.” Why am I bothering you with the same issue again and again? I Think About You And Me.

And there is more to think about than you might expect:

  1. Did you do your thinking time today, yesterday and the day before?
  2. Could you come up with some new questions?
  3. Did you do your thinking time perfectly?

I Think About You And Me, so let’s look at it in detail:

1. Did you do your thinking time today, yesterday and the day before?

See, it is good that I keep reminding you. You have not build a habit yet, which is usually the case after 3-4 weeks of daily repetition. Probably you are not there, yet. But it is not a long way that requires discipline (= self-love) to get there. My reminders shall help you through this first month. Then the habit will make you do it automatically by yourself on 6 out of 7 days. On the 7th day, you still need a kick in your ass, as a reminder. Or you just take the deserved break from it. How about reading your answers on the seventh day, and ticking those answers, which you already implemented in your life? And celebrate your success!

2. I Think About You And Me: Did you come up with some new questions?

Who asks better questions get better answers! So when I Think About You And Me, I want to encourage you to spend some thinking time on better or modified questions.

For example, you might modify the question:

  • What would I do today if I died tomorrow?

like this:

  • What would I do this week, if I died next week?
  • Or what would I do this month, if I died next month?
  • You might even go for the long run: What would I do this year, if I died next year?

Just reading this, you can already feel the power of the different perspective! So go and change your questions to whatever serves you best.

3. I Think About You And Me: Did you do your thinking time perfectly?

Thinking time is not about a perfect process, even if I keep describing the process mostly. It is about effectiveness. Effectiveness is measured by results.

So the question when I Think About You And Me is:

  • Which of the ideas, actions, efforts, habits, … I was thinking about, are showing the biggest progress towards my dreams and targets?

Most people tend to do things perfectly. I know what I am talking about, I am German! Perfectionism is a stereotype of Germans (Japanese and Singaporeans, as well ;-). Which is a wonderful thing in developing great products, but it is a burden in terms of effectiveness!

Once again: Thinking time is about producing results, with the actions you take based on it:

“Effectiveness” is NOT Efficiency

Doing your thinking time efficient would mean, you get it done in the shortest time thinkable: zero time. Nothing would be worse than that!

If I Think About You And Me, we should rather think about effectiveness:

Which of my ideas, actions, efforts, habits, … are showing NO results towards my dreams and targets? And as a consequence: Get rid of those tasks. Thinking about this for one hour, to finding only one thing, which keeps you busy for 30 minutes a day, and which creates no progress. This would be wonderful. Even if you lose half an hour on the first day, it will save you 3.5 hours a week. If you subtract the invested hour of thinking time, you still gained 2.5 hours. This is a return on investment of 250%  already within the first week. Oh, women, I would love to have a savings account like that! Did you get no ideas, how to save 30 minutes a day?

I Think About You, so let me inspire you:

  • Sleeping time
  • Transferring tasks to kids, partner, friends, assistants, cooking, GO-JEK services like a car wash, cleaning, shopping, …
  • Listen to learning programs (audiobooks) during driving
  • Modeling ideas instead of reinventing everything yourself
  • Stop watching television, some people may save 1 to 4 hour a day!
  • Avoid traveling by car during peak traffic, by scheduling your dates and working time around it.

BTW: I Think About You: Personal development is, to have a better communication with yourself. And your thinking-time is communication with yourself!

At this point, I want to honor and express my gratitude to everybody, who already answered my questions of the survey about

Your Expectations About Vitality4Happiness

If you have not done so yet, go and serve me with something to think about: And

Answer The F(word)ing Questions

There is a 93% chance, that YOU have NOT done so, yet. How do I know? I count the number of answers I already got, and I counted how many people I asked to answer the questions. Answering them shows your commitment. To be honest: If you are not committed, you might at least think, if you belong in this group. So show your commitment, or you want to leave the

Mastermind

Thank you for your commitment!

Struggling Between Me And My Kids

Some days ago, I had an interesting conversation about

“struggling between me and my kids”

with a wonderful lady. And she was willing to publish our conversation. Because she wants to contribute to other women, who might be in a similar situation. And I agree, I guess there are a lot of them around.

– Sometimes I find it hard to choose between me and my kids. I know one can not pour unless her cup is full, …

Klaus Forster: So true, if you give up yourself for others, means you don’t love yourself enough. One can do that from time to time, but doing it all the time, it turns into a burn out in the long run.

– but sometimes priority has to do with time, too.

Klaus Forster: A lack of time is always the result of unclear priorities. E. g. because we do a lot of things, which are just our habits but do not serve us. Time is fair: Everybody gets 24 h per day. Some people have time, others are always under stress and claim that they have to little time. Setting better priorities is the key: https://vitality4happiness.com/are-you-setting-the-right-priorities/

– Like I have saved some money for my yoga teacher training, but the reason why I am not registered yet because I wait in case my daughter will need the money for her university.

Klaus Forster: A lack of money is always a symptom, never the cause. So start digging deeper and find all the problems, put them in a sequence, which one is depending on another one. You may want to write them on some PostIt stickers so that you easily move them until the sequence makes sense. Then have someone have a look at it, you can send me a photo of it, and we can discuss it. Everybody has a blind spot, and for someone else, the reason is often obvious. Here is the story of how I realized what my blind spot was: https://vitality4happiness.com/how-a-mastermind-group-works/

– What is a blind spot?

Klaus Forster: Some problem or behavior someone can’t recognize and solve by himself, but for others the problem and it’s solution is obvious.

– So I have 4 kids, divorced, my ex-husband does not support me, he was unemployed during our 10 years of marriage and still unemployed now.

Klaus Forster: I think you got a strong male energy, and he wasn’t able to compete with that. So he lost your respect. (I am speaking from experience 😉 This sounds to me like the end of the love of my life). It was cozy and comfortable for him having you taking care of everything. Did you do the test about male/female energy: https://core.tonyrobbins.com/gender-quotient

A relationship needs both. If the woman has a stronger masculine energy than the man (what happened to me) the loss of respect is the result, then it gets ugly.

So the solution is: Find a partner who got a stronger male energy than yours.

– I did, I have female energy, life taught me a hard life that shaped me into what I am.

Klaus Forster: I am not sure, maybe we discovered a blind spot?

– Anyway, I told my 1st daughter to talk to his father to see if he could help her with her tuition this year, as I will enroll her sister this year. Last year we agreed to share our 1st daughter tuition but none, he did nothing.

Klaus Forster: You are putting the responsibility to your daughter. And this is a wonderful thing, especially at her age. They want to be treated as a partner, not as a child anymore. So if she can’t make him pay for it, encourage her to find another solution. Work part-time, scholarship, become an entrepreneur, … (actually, I like the last idea the best!)

– So waiting for his participation, I delay my teacher training.

Klaus Forster: If you consider yourself as waiting, you will wait forever. Increase your pain, imagine what will happen in the worst case, find out why you need to make a change, make it a MUST. Then think about the target and take the first step in its direction. The earlier the better. Already after the first few steps the pressure and pain will go away. But the pain is good in the beginning. It makes you move: https://vitality4happiness.com/the-drive-for-massive-change/

– I know the priority should be on me, …

Klaus Forster: You already understood it!

– because I am the breadwinner, I am gonna need the certificate to teach formally (I have taught some friends, but I know having the certificate is safer), but I don’t have a deadline in getting it, while my daughter has (in paying the university tuition). But the fact that I delay the teacher training kinda frustrates me as I am looking forward to this.

Klaus Forster: 4 times “but” in this sentence means you are making excuses for yourself = being arrested in your own prison: https://vitality4happiness.com/escape/

  • Any advice on how I should handle this? The depression and anxiety kinda attack me as I am waiting for this to go through.

Klaus Forster: Depression is always a result of low self-confidence. As I know you, I think you are feeling depressed only once in a while, and not permanently. So it is not critical and you are most likely able to help yourself out of it. You already acknowledged this: https://vitality4happiness.com/confidence-by-jenny-verano/

The next step is to do the first step. Define your target, increase your pain, take the first few steps utilizing pain as the driver to get started. If the target or the first steps are not perfect, it doesn’t matter, you can correct the direction on the way. It is essential to building up momentum, that keeps you going even through difficult situations. But soon, you will see the first successes and then pleasure will replace the pain and makes you go for the long run: https://vitality4happiness.com/the-energy-to-make-dreams-come-true/

 

 

Klaus Forster: You are writing: I am building her business …

She should build her …

It is a method of leadership if you think you have to do it, or she has to do it.

Actually, if you think YOU have to do it: This is already a reason why you don’t have enough time.

A good leader works less than his/her employees.

And it starts, with the way you think about it.

– First I’m building it, then she slowly jumped in, I told her on her 19 birthday, I will give it to her and she would be responsible as I will stop supporting her financially. That will be in August.

Klaus Forster: This is a wonderful plan! Congratulation

 

 

 

Klaus Forster: Sorry, I don’t understand what it means. Your initial statement was:

“Sometimes I find it hard to choose between me and my kids. I know one can not pour unless her cup is full, but sometimes priority has to do with time, too.”

I understood it like this: the (lack of) time influences/sets the priorities.

How does it deal with a payment deadline?

 

 

Klaus Forster: If it is not possible to pay it, you might think about taking them out of school for one semester and let them work and save the money for it. They will learn so much from it about life, work and appreciate it much more when they go back to university after the break.

 

 

Klaus Forster: I have the feeling you are very active. And you are keeping a lot of balls in the air at the same time. If you can’t see the progress anymore and even feel sometimes depressed:

It is time to take a break, to avoid running into a burnout.

The momentum you build will show results after a short break, e. g. 1 week.

The distance will allow you to reprioritize, which gives you more time in the future.

When getting back, you will see how little needs to be done, you probably can get everything done what wasn’t possible to do without you in half a day! Which shows you, which tasks you can transfer to other people (transfer a task means to delegate including the responsibility for the results)

You will learn that the system does not collapse if you are away, which supports your confidence.

 

 

Klaus Forster: When I went to Germany in January my employee was in this situation as well. It took me 3 days to realize, what the problem was. You can be proud of yourself, that you can say it so clear. I sent him for one week on vacation, bought him and his girlfriend a ticket and told him to switch off the mobile phone.

So what I described above is not theory: I saw that as a result of his abstinence, as well from my own experience. As I describe in the free chapter:

“The freedom to work from wherever you want”

https://vitality4happiness.com/networking-at-dream-beaches-the-freedom-of-a-digital-nomads-life/

 

 

Klaus Forster: This sounds like you are not living according to your own values. That costs a lot of energy and leads into a burnout.

So first of all: Are you aware of your values?

Do your values serve you?

Probably not best possible. The good news is: Values are like software, you can change them!

What would be a better set of values, that serve you better?

Implement them and live them and your energy will come back.

I think you have love, contribution and perfectionism ranked pretty high in your values. Especially perfectionism leads to a lot of work and a lack of time. And with contribution ranked too high, it is likely that others abuse you and suck your energy and money like your ex-husband did.

 

 

Klaus Forster: Maybe I underestimated how critical your situation is. If it is really that bad, you might need a psychiatrist. This is not a shame! It rather would be a shame if a wonderful person would leaf this world too early, just because of a depression, which is not treated well.

In this case, it might go beyond my capabilities to support you with that. I am not trained on that.

– that is what I’m doing now. I am building her business under my organization. Now I start asking her to attend training and do admin stuff.

Klaus Forster: This is a wonderful plan! Congratulation

– with my kids, I have to pay their tuition by July, I got 2 kids in university this year

Klaus Forster: If it is not possible to pay it, you might think about taking them out of school for one semester and let them work and save the money for it. They will learn so much from it about life, work and appreciate it much more when they go back to university after the break.

-Yes. I’m thinking of using the money as down payment to buy a car which they can use to grab driver, all the money will be used to pay the credit and gas and they take the rest. They said ok.

 

 

– Actually, I am taking a break now… I am away, it is my second day and while I’m away I gave my daughter some responsibilities and I could see she managed to delegate to her sisters, which is good she learn to lead

Klaus Forster: The best school she can get! Excellent idea, and if you give people more responsibility their intelligence explodes (= grows a lot)!

– oh yes.

Klaus Forster: If you don’t feel good after your break, get professional help. Because I feel at the limit of my competence at this point.

Anyway, I am more than happy to support you in any entrepreneurial development and also the development of the mindset as a basis for that. But I know where my limits are.

– no, like you said It is not permanent. I’m taking a break and felt better now knowing my daughter start taking responsibility

Klaus Forster: 👍

 

Following up one day later:

Klaus Forster: Good morning

How do you feel this morning?

– Good morning Klaus, I feel better, just did my morning walk, breakfast and resting a bit before yoga a bit later. How are you?

Klaus Forster: I read what we discussed yesterday, and I am impressed how clear you are able to analyze your situation!

– I am usually very aligned with my self, know what I want and pursue it. I just need to remind my self that there are things you can not control, other people behavior. And when you help them, stop at helping, do not expect they understand what you are doing let alone expect them to do what you do.

And I need to remind my self that when depression kick in, just acknowledge, and let it go, I don’t need to spoil it.

Klaus Forster: I already thought about that: in the yoga teacher class you will learn a lot about: let go

I can imagine that you are also suffering from the fear to let go of your kids … but at their age, it is time to do so and it is the best present you can give them. Even if not initially, they will be grateful one day and love you for that even more.

– funny you mention self love, that is what we encourage women.

Klaus Forster: Thank you for inspiring me for this

– in our tribe, glamour, and purpose, that self-love and self-care are very important. Thank you for listening to me, advising and writing it.

Klaus Forster: That is what advertising tells us, but that’s not self-love. That is pimping the outside. Even if you are unhappy inside. Self-love is about a mindset.

– Everything is mindset I guess: So the bottom line is how to train your mindset, from fix to growth mindset

Klaus Forster: So true. Thank you for the interview.

Experience More Happiness

Experience More Happiness

Achievement is not the source of permanent happiness,
but everlasting growth it is!

Growth = Experience More Happiness

First of all, we need to understand, to Experience More Happiness, we need to grow. And that the speed of growth is proportional to our happiness. How can we improve the speed of our growth, to feel happier along the way? If you are training hard🏋️‍♀️ at the gym, what happens to your muscle?💪 Let’s imagine, you are training with a weight of 50 kg until you cannot make any more repetitions. You feel exhausted but you are happy and proud that you made it!

You know your muscles will be hurting the day after your training, they got sore. And as long as they are hurting, you are less strong than the day before. Due to that, you won’t be able to do the same exercise anymore with 50 kg. Maybe you are still able to do it with 40 or 45 kg at the most. But if you do it again after 2 days relaxing your muscle, you will be able to do the same exercise with 52 or even 55 kg! So you gained quite a bit of strength during relaxation.

So what happened?

After your physical workout you got weaker, but after a rest, your muscle grew stronger! This principle is well known for physical training. And everyone knows how to relax physically. Having a refreshing drink, putting up your legs, having a massage and some delicious food, which is rich in essential oils and protein.

We can learn from athletes to get the right balance between training and relaxing. If you train too often your power goes down and you damage your muscle. But if you do not train often enough, you gain much less than possible. To find a good timing for the next training session the key is to improve the speed of growth. For the average person, 2 times a week is good for physical training. If you are more active it can be 3-5 times a week, but the training should be less intense. If you are in good shape already, training once a week with a high intensity can be enough to maintain your form.

Why do top athletes train each day 2 units a day?

They concentrate on every training on a different section of their body. No marathon runner goes for two marathons a day during his preparation for a competition! And we can learn how to adapt this strategy as well, by switching between different kinds of training.

But how about mental growth? Can you apply the same principles? Of cause, you can. But most people don’t understand how to train and relax mentally.

What is mental training?

Mental training is learning, being creative, and – you probably won’t like this: working under pressure and stress, for example, participating in an exam, a competition or finishing a project until a fixed deadline! Anything that brings you out of your comfort zone and increases your risk tolerance. If your head is getting hot because your brain seems🧠 to burn all of your energy, while you can smell your own cold sweat.😓

That is the stress you need as a trigger for mental growth. You will gain a higher stress tolerance. Similar to the physical training, which stresses your muscle and sets a growth impulse. And yes, it hurts!

Due to avoiding the pain, most people rather try to avoid stress, so they hardly ever get a growth trigger. Other people feel permanently stressed. They feel under pressure at work, are afraid that the taxman gets them, think that the kids are too demanding, having no time and never enough money!💰 They are caught in a treadmill, like a runner who trains by running two marathons each day. They are getting weaker and weaker and finally end up in a burnout and in depression.

How to relax mentally to Experience More Happiness?

This can be done through meditation, breathing exercises or sleeping, dancing, and physical training. Actually, everything that gives your brain a break, which makes you almost stop thinking. 🤔 Sounds easy, but in fact, it is a challenge to think nothing! Especially during rem sleep, which is the deep sleep phase in which you sink right after falling asleep, and periodically later during the night, puts your brain into standby. That’s why one gets around with a hand full of shot sleeping phases per day.

How to find the right balance between mental training and relaxation?

If you are working and working or learning and don’t see any progress, this is like the hurting sore muscle after the physical training. You feel uncomfortable and😣 try to push harder. But this is time to take a rest! You need it the most when you think you can afford it the least. It seems, that our bodies are giving clearer signals than our brains! But this is not true. Especially in the western society, you get more honor if you are looking stressed and overworked than for taking a break at the right time, having faster growth and harvesting the success of it. This gets rather considered as luck! So it is just a bad habit to overrule it.

Taking a break is good airmanship

Fortunately, there are also good examples of this awareness: Air traffic controllers and pilots get trained for listening to their signals of getting tired. And it’s called good airmanship when they say: “I am tired and I need to take a rest.” So another air traffic controller or the co-pilot takes over. They get encouraged to take a break from their education programs. Even it this is basically done for the security of the passengers, crew and flight devices, as well as for the security of flight traffic in general. And we can utilize this strategy for our growth and happiness. To avoid a reduction in your stress tolerance levels, you need to change the habit of constant stress.

For me, it was a great improvement to take each month one week of holiday. I booked a cheap charter package tour in a basic hotel. And I chose the dates in the offseason in a low priced region. So it hardly did cost more than my life back home. So I started working remotely, only a few hours a day. While spending my days with sports, meditation, and walking along the beach. So I kept sleeping long and enjoyed the freedom of mind away from the daily business.

Scheduling breaks to Experience More Happiness

After coming back I realized how much progress was done in my abstinence. And even better, I felt so happy about the gained effectivity, because I learned to get many things organized in a short time after my return back home.

This made it easy for me to break with my habit to stay busy permanently. And I utilize this practice as well as my junk food day each Saturday. Because always eating only the healthy stuff is like being in permanent stress. On junk food day my appetite tells me what is missing in my diet. And it is easy to start, to take scheduled breaks, every 4, 6 or 8 weeks from your work routine. With this increase of mindfulness, you will become more sensitive to listening to your needs. And you will find your own optimal rhythm between stress and relaxation.

Learn more about taking breaks to improve happiness

Couch Surfing Experiences

Ramadan at the Ramada

Couchsurfing Experiences in Malaysia, source Mr. Drone

I made new couch surfing experiences in Malaysia at the Ramada Hotel. With an amazing view over the skyline of Kuala Lumpur.

Couch Surfing Experiences during Ramadan at Ramada

That’s funny because it’s Ramadan. The apartment I booked through Airbnb and the whole apartment did not even cost 27 €! Couch surfing can give experience to individuals about the way of living with local people.

Couch Surfing Experiences - Rooftop Pool of an Apartment Booked on AirBnB

And to live with locals makes a big difference. You get much more of their way of life. And you get tips that are not in any travel guide. I have already made very good couch surfing experiences. Like changing my itinerary in Singapore in February to fly to Phuket together with my host and her girlfriends. Booked in the evening, flying together the next morning to Thailand. Therefore, today I would like to recommend AirBnB.

If you do not have AirBnB account yet, you can get access using the following link: www.airbnb.com

Plus you will receive a 25 € credit for your first booking! But there is a lot more interesting stuff here:

What can you learn from your couch surfing experience?

How to connect only through one middleman between the guest and the landlord. This is awesome and is similarly done at Uber, Go-Jek, and Greb. The value chain is short and without high costs or commission. The most amazing thing about it is: The frontend of the AirBnB-webpage looks like it is programmed with love 🙂 Look at booking.com and you see a webpage that is programmed with greed 🙁

Expensive couch surfing experience in classic sales channels

This is very different from the traditional distribution networks. The manufacturers sell their products to the export enterprise, they resell it to the shipowners. They sell it to the importing enterprise, who then delivers the goods to the wholesaler, he distributes it to the shops of the retailers. And finally, the consumer buys or orders his product there. How many middlemen? Too many!

Couchsurfing experiences at the fuel station

You do not want to know how many times the petrol has changed hands until it ends up in your tank! As of today, one barrel of crude oil costs 64 €, that is 159 liters per barrel or equals to 0.40 Euros per liter. At the petrol station, you pay over 1.40 € which is a surcharge of 250%! There are of course transport and processing costs, but most of it goes for the profit margins of middlemen. And have you ever been curious about the fact, why the fuel did cost about 1.20 € even in times when the barrel was traded for only US$ 30? Back then the surcharge was over 400%!

MLM Couchsurfing experiences

That’s almost the same with multi-level marketing (MLM) systems. Even if the producer delivers the pills directly to the end-customer, there is a long sales channel of the MLM freelancers. All of them get a commission out of the turnover. That’s why selling in an MLM system is only possible for products with an incredible sale margin, such as nutrition supplements. They are getting sold with arguments like: “Your health should have a higher value than 2 € per day to you.” The manufacturing costs of the pills are in the mEuro range (1/1000th of a Euro). But I have already written about the Minerals in Food.

The business model for good couch surfing experiences

With your business idea, you want to think about this question: How can I remove all of the middlemen? Uber, AirBnB, Greb, and Go-Jek have one thing in common:

They do not own the infrastructure to produce or deliver their products.

  • Uber doesn’t own any cars that drive as taxis.
  • AirBnB does not have buildings, which is used as a hotel.
  • Greb does not own scooters that are used for public transportation,
  • and Go-Jek does not even have pizza ovens, but most likely the deliver the most pizzas in the world!

How can YOU become the AirBnB in your business field?