how to build confidence

How to Build Confidence – Success Journal

I had a conversation about how to build confidence with a wonderful lady. She told me:

– I lost my confidence.

Klaus Forster: #1 Do you write daily your success journal?

😔 no

Klaus Forster: Do you know how to do it?

– I think I know, but I would be happy if you could give me a guidance.

Klaus Forster:

#2 Put a daily reminder in your calendar, that reminds you, about 1 hour before you usually get to sleep.

#3 If you really want me to help you, send me every day a copy of your success journal.

#4 Read your past successes in your success journal from time to time, especially when you are low on energy.

How to build confidence? 

Write daily in your success journal

Whenever you feel low on energy or unmotivated, it is either due to a lack of confidence or you don’t have clear targets. In the worst case, both at the same time!

Why is this connected with each other?

High motivation just means you got a lot of energy. That means the simple equation looks like this:

Motivation = Energy

This part of the equation is pretty obvious, and everyone can confirm that from his own experience.

But what has it to do with how to build confidence and your clear targets?

Motivation =  Targets * Confidence

This most likely needs some more explanation. But think about a situation where you had a big dream e. g. owning an own villa with a wonderful garden, a garage full of fancy cars and employees that are serving you. But you were not confident enough to believe that you can reach it. Have you been able to get started? No, your motivation and energy were almost zero. Because

Zero Confidence * Targets = Zero Energy = Zero Motivation

Your energy level after working for a while in a new job:

The other day, you got a new job and you were confident after getting the contract signed, that you will do it really well. But your boss did forget to tell you what your targets are. So you were not able to make the decision in which direction you need to work. You tried out several directions, but after a while, you realize it is not producing results. So you keep losing your motivation and energy. And even worse, after a while also your confidence. This is the frustration phase.

This was not only your fault because as an employee you are working on targets of other people. But you can prevent it by asking for the clarification of your target. Actually, you must ask! Asking for it is your responsibility if they are not clear.

Let’s switch the perspective: Now you are the boss!

Have you ever had a new employee who seemed to be motivated? Sure, most employees are highly motivated when they start a new job. But after some time every new employee loses his motivation. How can you help him? Look at the second equation. There are two things for you to work on:

1. Clarify the targets

2. Improve her or his self-confidence

how to build confidence

Agree with him on targets, that seem to be achievable for him. This supports both, the clarification of the targets and – if he believes that he can make it – it improves your employee’s self-confidence at the same time. The other thing is to encourage her or him to write a daily success journal.

By the way, everyone is going through this frustration phase, each and every time when you are learning something new. The more enthusiastic you are in the beginning the deeper the frustration phase will be. You are pretty well off, if you wrote down your successes during the enthusiastic phase, to be able to read them in the frustration phase.

So how to do it on your own, just for your own motivation and energy?

On the first thing, we will work in our business retreats, where we dig deep into our values to find out about our mission, vision and break them down into clear and achievable targets. And the second thing is, to write your success journal.

How to build confidence: For how long do you need to do it?

The great news is: Not forever! I would recommend, just to do it only as long as you live!

How to build confidence: How does it work?

Thinking about your day and concentrating on your successes is a priming exercise. This is very similar to writing a gratitude journal. It makes your brain focus on the positive things of the day. The best time to do it is just before you go to sleep. So you subconscious keeps working on it all night. This brings the fastest results.

How to build confidence: Make the best use out of your success journal

Whenever you feel low on energy you can read in it, which gives you a kick for your self-confidence. Also reviewing your targets helps. Both require that you wrote it down before! By the business retreat, we make sure that you will have clear targets written down. And for your success journal, get someone with authority whom you respect, who does not rely on a good relationship to you. Have this person controlling you, that you write your success journal every day, at least 5 days a week.

During our next

Business Retreat in Bali

we will also train to write the success journal and focus on the successes. After that, you will be doing it almost automatically.

 

Greetings in Indonesian

Happy Haircut – Greetings in Indonesian

Due to my bad Indonesian skills, I got a Happy Haircut. But at least I manage some Greetings in Indonesian.

After learning these greeting in Indonesian, you’d be ready for your take of to Bali!

Hi good morning,

Happy Haircut

As you can see, yesterday I had the worst hairdresser experience ever. Actually, the happy haircut was created due to a communication problem. So I definitely need to learn some more Bahasa Indonesia to avoid another happy haircut like that. Actually, I already picked up a little bit.

Greetings in Indonesian

If it is in the morning you say: “Salamat pagi”

Or if it is in the evening it is: “Salamat malam”

If it is time to eat, it is: “Salamat macan”

And if it is a girl coming the other way, I keep saying: “Salamat sayang”

Which actually means “darling”. It’s no propper Indonesian, I know that. But it creates always a smile in the other persons face.

Happy HaircutAnd then, another very essential one: If it is an Australian bloke you say: “Salamat Bintang”

So that means cheers mate.

 

After this preparation,

You’d be ready for your take of to Bali!

 

Learn some more greetings in Indonesian, with even better pronunciation than mine:

Follow blog.vitality4happiness.com

Sex is no option

Sex is no option

Sex is no option.

Sex is no option

It is a basic need.

And that’s why: Sex is a must!

 

Sex is no option: Sex is not love

No, it is not the same. But sex is the strongest component of love, and the desire for sex is the strongest driver for love. It is probably the best if both come together 😉 the two participants as well as sex and love. One person cannot satisfy all the needs of another one. That’s why we work with teams and do not love exclusively one person. For some reason, sex gets called “making love”, pretty wise words.

Sex is no option: Sex is bad

To consider sex as something bad is nothing than religious brainfuck. Each and every one of us, and any creature on the planet is a result of sex. So, what can be bad about Sex? Everyone is a part of the universe and some people interpret the universe as one infinite creature. Sex is sourly needed to rebuild and maintain the whole universal creature.

Sex is no option: Sex Sells

The strongest driver any being got, is sexual attraction. Sex sells! Why? Because our desire for sex is embedded so deeply in our reptile brain, that we cannot ignore the feelings it creates. And it is the greatest source of energy, tantric– or kundalini-energy. Show me an unmotivated person, and I show you someone, who hasn’t had good sex for a long time. And he or she has probably times of depression, because of not feeling loved. The fear of not feeling loved is the strongest fear we can experience. Because already as a baby we rely on it to survive, so not feeling loved includes the fear of death.

Sex is no option: Monogamy is a fallacy

Because monogamy is against (human) nature. There are no animals, that are living in monogamy, and the human being is nothing like another species of animal. There have been good reasons to invent the idea of monogamy. In times, when sexual deceases where spreading around the world, and killing the majority of the population, it was a smart idea to recommend everybody to stay monogamous. But nowadays, where the diseases can be treated medically and condoms are available to prevent them, there is no reason anymore for this rule. We only keep this rule, because we are used to it.

Sex is no option: Sex only for married people

A marriage is nothing but a financial contract. It does not protect love, not even sympathy. Hollywood makes us believe that romantic love needs a marriage, but hardly anything is further away from the truth than that. A relationship is a game between harmony and tension. Most people enjoy the time at the start of a relationship, the first flirt, conversation, touch, kiss, another date, first sex, playfully trying out what is possible. As soon as they try to conserve this, by getting engaged or married the playfulness gets lost. Having a secure relationship means boredom and kills the relationship in the long run. Now another flirt becomes interesting, maybe more …

Sex is no option: That’s just an opinion

Of cause it is only an opinion. But everything we think that we know is only an opinion. There is not objective truth. Anything we see, hear, feel, smell and taste go through the filter of our frontal leap. Everybody got a different filter, which determines what is essential for us. Out of 2,700,000 junks of information, our senses are receiving every second, our frontal leap deletes anything our brain cannot process.

Sex is no option: The brain lottery

The processing speed of our brain is 74 junks of information per second. Imagine 10 people are watching and experiencing the same soccer game. And each of their frontal leaps deletes 2,699,926 junks of information. For everybody something different is essential. So everyone got his own unique filter. How much will have the remaining 74 junks in common? They got as much in common as the lottery numbers from last week, with the numbers of this week! Based on this selection our brain builds a picture of what is happening around us. I am more than surprised that by the end of a soccer game most of the visitors can agree on the same team that won.

Good for us, because not all of us do not consider the same person as attractive.

Sex is no option: Sex creates jealousy

Being jealous is not inborn, but only a sign of low self-confidence. Not love nor sex can improve or fix that problem. Only working on your self-confidence can solve it. And there are methods available, to improve your self-confidence. And some of them are so easy to execute, that you will have a hard time to believe that it will work, for example writing a daily success journal. But it workes, it just needs some time and does not show instant results. But in the long run, it makes you so much more confident about yourself.

Learn how to improve your self-confidence

For those of you, who want to sing along, go for it (source Google):

“No” is a dirty word,
Never gonna say it first,
“No” is just a thought that never crosses my mind.
Maybe in the parking lot,
Better bring your friend along,
Better all together than just one at a time.

Refrain:
S is for the simple need.
E is for the ecstasy.
X is just to mark the spot,
Cause that’s the one you really want.
(Yes) sex is always the answer, it’s never a question,
Cause the answer’s yes, oh the answer’s (yes)
Not just a suggestion, if you ask the question,
Then it’s always yes, yeah!

I’m loving what you wanna wear,
I wonder what’s up under there?
Wonder if I’ll ever have it under my tongue?
I love to try to set you free,
I love you all over me.
Love to hear the sound you make the second you’re done.

Refrain:
S is for the simple need.
E is for the ecstasy.
X is just to mark the spot,
Cause that’s the one you really want.
(Yes) sex is always the answer, it’s never a question,
Cause the answer’s yes, oh the answer’s (yes)
Not just a suggestion, if you ask the question,
Then it’s always yes, yeah!

Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Refrain:
S is for the simple need.
E is for the ecstasy.
X is just to mark the spot,
Cause that’s the one you really want.
(Yes) sex is always the answer, it’s never a question,
Cause the answer’s yes, oh the answer’s (yes)
Not just a suggestion, if you ask the question,
Then it’s always yes, yeah!

sex is always the answer, it’s never a question,
Cause the answer’s yes, oh the answer’s (Yes).
Not just a suggestion, if you ask the question,
Then it’s always yes, yeah, (yes)

How to Turn a Weakness Into a Strength

Turning your weakness into a strength

or turning your mistake into a success

I parked my scooter in front of the bank. It was pretty crowded, not only in the parking area but also inside. The security person at the entrance told me, that they will not serve me anymore today. So I went back to my scooter. When parking out, I touched the next scooter. That one fell over and another one fell over as well. So I stopped to put the other scooters back up. The first one did not have a damage, but from the second one, the mirror was broken. I didn’t know, that I am gonna turn my mistake into a success. But that’s how I met Tracy Wilkinson.

We exchanged phone numbers. And already one day later Tracy got the broken mirror fixed. She sent me a message with the invoice, how much I had to pay. Meanwhile, I left Bali for a trip to the Gili Islands. Probably Tracy thought, she will never gonna see me again … But about two weeks later I turned up at her office to fix the damage I created.

Tracy the multi-entrepreneur

Turning weakness into a strength

Tracy Wilkinson

I learned from her, that she runs a business called Western Influences. And I found out, that she is a multi-entrepreneur, running some other companies as well. We found that we got much in common, with our ideas about personal development and business. That’s why, we met several times for dinner, and we had a very enjoyable exchange of ideas and thoughts. She also joined my mastermind group and very soon she became one of the most active participants. For me, it was a big win to get to know her.

For heaven’s sake, I smashed the mirror of her scooter! So my mistake turned into a success. Nowadays I think each time when I enter the bank: let’s smash a scooter and make more friends. Because I learned from her, that

Tracy managed to turn her weakness into a strength

Read her amazing story:

How she snatched from the jaws of death, already 13 times!

Dear Tracy,

Keep on Turning your weaknesses into strengths!

What a wonderful story! Time to celebrate your health and your courage, to get through all of this. In our conversations I always felt, the big optimism and gratefulness, you are carrying in your heart. So I guess that’s what made it become so strong again!

I am so happy for you and glad that I got to know you!

Thank you
Klaus

Faszination Bali

Business Retreat in Bali, September 23 to October 7, 2018

Business Retreat in Bali Especially for female entrepreneurs

Today I would like to invite you to the next Business Retreat in Bali. Please let me know on the FB page if you are interested:

Business Retreat in Bali

Results of your participation in the Business Retreat in Bali:

Five reasons, why the Vitality 4 Happiness business retreat is your business booster:     

  1. Live your dream with Vitality 4 HappinessYou will receive 10,000 Euro Venture Capital for your business expansion – including an annual exempt from trade tax of 24,500 euros (according to German tax regulations)
  2. The fourfold success probability for your business idea and twice as fast growth
  3. Competent practice mentoring by Klaus Forster, who has made his own company a self-runner
  4. 14 days intensive mastermind and exchange with twelve independent entrepreneurs who work together on their individual business development
  5. Two weeks of Bali to fully concentrate on your vision – and to enjoy Bali!

Take the next step for you and your business. Get out of your treadmill, and become a business owner of a business, which is running on its own and works for you.

Are you in? Share

Your Expectations for the Business Retreat in Bali

and earn a 50 € voucher for your answers or

Apply here for the Business Retreat in Bali

Vital and happy regards
Klaus

increase the value of your business

How to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business

I was listening to the audiobook “The Road Less Stupid” and I enjoyed it because it added a lot of new ideas to my entrepreneurial thinking time.


Today is the most essential day of your life. Thinking time is the most valuable time of your day.

One controversial question about how to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business I got out of it is:

“If I would be my competition:
What would I do, to create the biggest damage to my business?”

It means: My own company is A, and my competition is B. What would I do, in the role of company B = my competitor? If I would be company B, what could I do, to damage company A’s = my business?

The first thing to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business that came to my mind was not very charming: “A shit storm on Facebook” 😮 So I posted the following question to the members of my mastermind group:

Klaus Forster:
The best thinking time question I got today is: If I would be my competition, what would I do if I’d be my competitor to create the biggest damage to my business?

This started a lively conversation about it with a lady, who was working for television. Where they need to attract a lot of attention. Due to the fact, that bad news is selling better, they need to come up with bad news.

Let me share her story about how to ruin someone’s life or business:

It kinda remind me of my argue with one of my producer long time ago, probably 14 years ago. So one day our competitor TV series got into number 1. My producer said “So what can we make to take them down?” My reply was I don’t want to create something to take someone down, that is not a good intention. If I want to create something my intention should be to make something good that people can enjoy and add value to their life.

He was angry. So we created something and we only managed to get into top 10. He was even more angry when my other TV series, which I made with another TV company made it to number 1. He thought I paid more attention to the other company.

Thinking it in another way

The truth was, when I created that TV series I put all my heart into it. I did my research about the hospital, medical doctors, met survivors, that was why the series seemed real and touched many people’s heart. The story was about a teenagers having leukemia having to deal with her sickness. Her family breaking down because of it, her boyfriend and friends going away. And at the end she realized, that the only person that will stand up is herself. And when she finally did, it pulled all her beloved back. Because they look up to her. So for me what important is your intention, success, attention, everything will follow.

The reason why I put all of my heart was because the producer had the same vision of creating something to add more value to life, not to take someone down. So we did what we could to make it good by spending time on research and stuff.

Other mastermind members added to these thoughts on: how to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business

  • I like that intention and believe, that if you go around trying to damage others, you damage yourself, in the long term.
  • Yes, there is no point of going out, to taking one down.

Klaus Forster:
I agree, and it is NOT the direction I like to think 🤔 either, because it NOT conforms to my business ethics. Because I think it is not a good idea at all to ruin someone’s life or business. Even though, I want to encourage you to keep on thinking about dirty tricks, illegal or non ethic methods!

It is NOT at all about implementing these ideas, but rather to find the real weak point of your own business. So that you can act on it.

  • I see, now I get it, it is more thinking of what your competitor could do to damage you. So you can improve in that area.
    Good thinking Klaus, thank you for making us seeing this.

Switching perspective to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business

Switching the perspective really gave me some good inspirations, which are worth thinking about deeper:

  1. “How to get as much of attention as from a shit storm?”
  2. “How can I provide more customer benefits by doing it?”

After thinking about that for a while, I came up with the ideas:

  1. Posting something, that is so funny that it goes viral, instead of a shit storm.
  2. Sending a test buyer to my competitor, instead of sending one only to my business.

So I would be able to create positive attention and to get the information, in which field we are doing worse than our competition?

Before I stepped into my competitor’s role, I was only able to think a test buyer checking my own business. Changing into company B’s perspective, enabled this idea. Doing this, I can learn about the customer experience they provide. Which brings me nearer to the answer to the initial question. So please, hare your ideas about how to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business in the comments below.

Probably you are curious why I chose the almost misleading title: How to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business. The reason for it is, some considerations about …

Learning at the Business Retreat

the search engine optimization for this blog. After checking the most frequently used keywords in my initial text, I found out that business, competition, and damage were the most frequently used once. So I put them in Google Adds keyword planner and played around with some phrases that contained these words.

Entepreneur SEO

One suggested phase was: How to Ruin Someone’s Life. It is getting seared for between 1.000 and 10.000 times a months and has a low competition. Further, I considered this issue as controversial, that it has the chance to go viral. And many people will read it, and – hopefully – benefit from it. So without doing anything bad to the competition, I implemented both of my ideas from my thinking time about in this blog.

Review on “How to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business”

(Sept. 20, 2018) Three months after publishing this blog, I analyzed with Google Webmaster Tools which of my pages and blogs are appearing the most frequently in the google search results. And it turned out, that this one appeared most frequently! It also had the highest click rate. But I learned, that the visitors of this blog stayed about 2 minutes in average, with is about 40% below the average time of the pages. This only lasts, to read half of it. And that almost all visitors left my webpage without referring to another page of it. So I learned, that I need to make the first part of the text more appealing. And that I need to offer more value to the visitors of the blog, by adding links to other related issues on my webpage. Learn more about Search Engine Optimization.

If you’d like to improve your business and share inspiration with other female entrepreneurs, sign up for the

Entrepreneurs Mastermind Group

Female Entrepreneurs

You can find the audiobook “The road less stupid” here: http://a.co/5oUfXNm

 

 

Take your thinking time about: How to Ruin Someones Life or Business

Source: Amazon

I Think About You And Me

I keep reminding you of thinking time, and you probably think: “I read that already a few times.” Why am I bothering you with the same issue again and again? I Think About You And Me.

And there is more to think about than you might expect:

  1. Did you do your thinking time today, yesterday and the day before?
  2. Could you come up with some new questions?
  3. Did you do your thinking time perfectly?

I Think About You And Me, so let’s look at it in detail:

1. Did you do your thinking time today, yesterday and the day before?

See, it is good that I keep reminding you. You have not build a habit yet, which is usually the case after 3-4 weeks of daily repetition. Probably you are not there, yet. But it is not a long way that requires discipline (= self-love) to get there. My reminders shall help you through this first month. Then the habit will make you do it automatically by yourself on 6 out of 7 days. On the 7th day, you still need a kick in your ass, as a reminder. Or you just take the deserved break from it. How about reading your answers on the seventh day, and ticking those answers, which you already implemented in your life? And celebrate your success!

2. I Think About You And Me: Did you come up with some new questions?

Who asks better questions get better answers! So when I Think About You And Me, I want to encourage you to spend some thinking time on better or modified questions.

For example, you might modify the question:

  • What would I do today if I died tomorrow?

like this:

  • What would I do this week, if I died next week?
  • Or what would I do this month, if I died next month?
  • You might even go for the long run: What would I do this year, if I died next year?

Just reading this, you can already feel the power of the different perspective! So go and change your questions to whatever serves you best.

3. I Think About You And Me: Did you do your thinking time perfectly?

Thinking time is not about a perfect process, even if I keep describing the process mostly. It is about effectiveness. Effectiveness is measured by results.

So the question when I Think About You And Me is:

  • Which of the ideas, actions, efforts, habits, … I was thinking about, are showing the biggest progress towards my dreams and targets?

Most people tend to do things perfectly. I know what I am talking about, I am German! Perfectionism is a stereotype of Germans (Japanese and Singaporeans, as well ;-). Which is a wonderful thing in developing great products, but it is a burden in terms of effectiveness!

Once again: Thinking time is about producing results, with the actions you take based on it:

“Effectiveness” is NOT Efficiency

Doing your thinking time efficient would mean, you get it done in the shortest time thinkable: zero time. Nothing would be worse than that!

If I Think About You And Me, we should rather think about effectiveness:

Which of my ideas, actions, efforts, habits, … are showing NO results towards my dreams and targets? And as a consequence: Get rid of those tasks. Thinking about this for one hour, to finding only one thing, which keeps you busy for 30 minutes a day, and which creates no progress. This would be wonderful. Even if you lose half an hour on the first day, it will save you 3.5 hours a week. If you subtract the invested hour of thinking time, you still gained 2.5 hours. This is a return on investment of 250%  already within the first week. Oh, women, I would love to have a savings account like that! Did you get no ideas, how to save 30 minutes a day?

I Think About You, so let me inspire you:

  • Sleeping time
  • Transferring tasks to kids, partner, friends, assistants, cooking, GO-JEK services like a car wash, cleaning, shopping, …
  • Listen to learning programs (audiobooks) during driving
  • Modeling ideas instead of reinventing everything yourself
  • Stop watching television, some people may save 1 to 4 hour a day!
  • Avoid traveling by car during peak traffic, by scheduling your dates and working time around it.

BTW: I Think About You: Personal development is, to have a better communication with yourself. And your thinking-time is communication with yourself!

At this point, I want to honor and express my gratitude to everybody, who already answered my questions of the survey about

Your Expectations About Vitality4Happiness

If you have not done so yet, go and serve me with something to think about: And

Answer The F(word)ing Questions

There is a 93% chance, that YOU have NOT done so, yet. How do I know? I count the number of answers I already got, and I counted how many people I asked to answer the questions. Answering them shows your commitment. To be honest: If you are not committed, you might at least think, if you belong in this group. So show your commitment, or you want to leave the

Mastermind

Thank you for your commitment!

Struggling Between Me And My Kids

Some days ago, I had an interesting conversation about

“struggling between me and my kids”

with a wonderful lady. And she was willing to publish our conversation. Because she wants to contribute to other women, who might be in a similar situation. And I agree, I guess there are a lot of them around.

– Sometimes I find it hard to choose between me and my kids. I know one can not pour unless her cup is full, …

Klaus Forster: So true, if you give up yourself for others, means you don’t love yourself enough. One can do that from time to time, but doing it all the time, it turns into a burn out in the long run.

– but sometimes priority has to do with time, too.

Klaus Forster: A lack of time is always the result of unclear priorities. E. g. because we do a lot of things, which are just our habits but do not serve us. Time is fair: Everybody gets 24 h per day. Some people have time, others are always under stress and claim that they have to little time. Setting better priorities is the key: https://vitality4happiness.com/are-you-setting-the-right-priorities/

– Like I have saved some money for my yoga teacher training, but the reason why I am not registered yet because I wait in case my daughter will need the money for her university.

Klaus Forster: A lack of money is always a symptom, never the cause. So start digging deeper and find all the problems, put them in a sequence, which one is depending on another one. You may want to write them on some PostIt stickers so that you easily move them until the sequence makes sense. Then have someone have a look at it, you can send me a photo of it, and we can discuss it. Everybody has a blind spot, and for someone else, the reason is often obvious. Here is the story of how I realized what my blind spot was: https://vitality4happiness.com/how-a-mastermind-group-works/

– What is a blind spot?

Klaus Forster: Some problem or behavior someone can’t recognize and solve by himself, but for others the problem and it’s solution is obvious.

– So I have 4 kids, divorced, my ex-husband does not support me, he was unemployed during our 10 years of marriage and still unemployed now.

Klaus Forster: I think you got a strong male energy, and he wasn’t able to compete with that. So he lost your respect. (I am speaking from experience 😉 This sounds to me like the end of the love of my life). It was cozy and comfortable for him having you taking care of everything. Did you do the test about male/female energy: https://core.tonyrobbins.com/gender-quotient

A relationship needs both. If the woman has a stronger masculine energy than the man (what happened to me) the loss of respect is the result, then it gets ugly.

So the solution is: Find a partner who got a stronger male energy than yours.

– I did, I have female energy, life taught me a hard life that shaped me into what I am.

Klaus Forster: I am not sure, maybe we discovered a blind spot?

– Anyway, I told my 1st daughter to talk to his father to see if he could help her with her tuition this year, as I will enroll her sister this year. Last year we agreed to share our 1st daughter tuition but none, he did nothing.

Klaus Forster: You are putting the responsibility to your daughter. And this is a wonderful thing, especially at her age. They want to be treated as a partner, not as a child anymore. So if she can’t make him pay for it, encourage her to find another solution. Work part-time, scholarship, become an entrepreneur, … (actually, I like the last idea the best!)

– So waiting for his participation, I delay my teacher training.

Klaus Forster: If you consider yourself as waiting, you will wait forever. Increase your pain, imagine what will happen in the worst case, find out why you need to make a change, make it a MUST. Then think about the target and take the first step in its direction. The earlier the better. Already after the first few steps the pressure and pain will go away. But the pain is good in the beginning. It makes you move: https://vitality4happiness.com/the-drive-for-massive-change/

– I know the priority should be on me, …

Klaus Forster: You already understood it!

– because I am the breadwinner, I am gonna need the certificate to teach formally (I have taught some friends, but I know having the certificate is safer), but I don’t have a deadline in getting it, while my daughter has (in paying the university tuition). But the fact that I delay the teacher training kinda frustrates me as I am looking forward to this.

Klaus Forster: 4 times “but” in this sentence means you are making excuses for yourself = being arrested in your own prison: https://vitality4happiness.com/escape/

  • Any advice on how I should handle this? The depression and anxiety kinda attack me as I am waiting for this to go through.

Klaus Forster: Depression is always a result of low self-confidence. As I know you, I think you are feeling depressed only once in a while, and not permanently. So it is not critical and you are most likely able to help yourself out of it. You already acknowledged this: https://vitality4happiness.com/confidence-by-jenny-verano/

The next step is to do the first step. Define your target, increase your pain, take the first few steps utilizing pain as the driver to get started. If the target or the first steps are not perfect, it doesn’t matter, you can correct the direction on the way. It is essential to building up momentum, that keeps you going even through difficult situations. But soon, you will see the first successes and then pleasure will replace the pain and makes you go for the long run: https://vitality4happiness.com/the-energy-to-make-dreams-come-true/

 

 

Klaus Forster: You are writing: I am building her business …

She should build her …

It is a method of leadership if you think you have to do it, or she has to do it.

Actually, if you think YOU have to do it: This is already a reason why you don’t have enough time.

A good leader works less than his/her employees.

And it starts, with the way you think about it.

– First I’m building it, then she slowly jumped in, I told her on her 19 birthday, I will give it to her and she would be responsible as I will stop supporting her financially. That will be in August.

Klaus Forster: This is a wonderful plan! Congratulation

 

 

 

Klaus Forster: Sorry, I don’t understand what it means. Your initial statement was:

“Sometimes I find it hard to choose between me and my kids. I know one can not pour unless her cup is full, but sometimes priority has to do with time, too.”

I understood it like this: the (lack of) time influences/sets the priorities.

How does it deal with a payment deadline?

 

 

Klaus Forster: If it is not possible to pay it, you might think about taking them out of school for one semester and let them work and save the money for it. They will learn so much from it about life, work and appreciate it much more when they go back to university after the break.

 

 

Klaus Forster: I have the feeling you are very active. And you are keeping a lot of balls in the air at the same time. If you can’t see the progress anymore and even feel sometimes depressed:

It is time to take a break, to avoid running into a burnout.

The momentum you build will show results after a short break, e. g. 1 week.

The distance will allow you to reprioritize, which gives you more time in the future.

When getting back, you will see how little needs to be done, you probably can get everything done what wasn’t possible to do without you in half a day! Which shows you, which tasks you can transfer to other people (transfer a task means to delegate including the responsibility for the results)

You will learn that the system does not collapse if you are away, which supports your confidence.

 

 

Klaus Forster: When I went to Germany in January my employee was in this situation as well. It took me 3 days to realize, what the problem was. You can be proud of yourself, that you can say it so clear. I sent him for one week on vacation, bought him and his girlfriend a ticket and told him to switch off the mobile phone.

So what I described above is not theory: I saw that as a result of his abstinence, as well from my own experience. As I describe in the free chapter:

“The freedom to work from wherever you want”

https://vitality4happiness.com/networking-at-dream-beaches-the-freedom-of-a-digital-nomads-life/

 

 

Klaus Forster: This sounds like you are not living according to your own values. That costs a lot of energy and leads into a burnout.

So first of all: Are you aware of your values?

Do your values serve you?

Probably not best possible. The good news is: Values are like software, you can change them!

What would be a better set of values, that serve you better?

Implement them and live them and your energy will come back.

I think you have love, contribution and perfectionism ranked pretty high in your values. Especially perfectionism leads to a lot of work and a lack of time. And with contribution ranked too high, it is likely that others abuse you and suck your energy and money like your ex-husband did.

 

 

Klaus Forster: Maybe I underestimated how critical your situation is. If it is really that bad, you might need a psychiatrist. This is not a shame! It rather would be a shame if a wonderful person would leaf this world too early, just because of a depression, which is not treated well.

In this case, it might go beyond my capabilities to support you with that. I am not trained on that.

– that is what I’m doing now. I am building her business under my organization. Now I start asking her to attend training and do admin stuff.

Klaus Forster: This is a wonderful plan! Congratulation

– with my kids, I have to pay their tuition by July, I got 2 kids in university this year

Klaus Forster: If it is not possible to pay it, you might think about taking them out of school for one semester and let them work and save the money for it. They will learn so much from it about life, work and appreciate it much more when they go back to university after the break.

-Yes. I’m thinking of using the money as down payment to buy a car which they can use to grab driver, all the money will be used to pay the credit and gas and they take the rest. They said ok.

 

 

– Actually, I am taking a break now… I am away, it is my second day and while I’m away I gave my daughter some responsibilities and I could see she managed to delegate to her sisters, which is good she learn to lead

Klaus Forster: The best school she can get! Excellent idea, and if you give people more responsibility their intelligence explodes (= grows a lot)!

– oh yes.

Klaus Forster: If you don’t feel good after your break, get professional help. Because I feel at the limit of my competence at this point.

Anyway, I am more than happy to support you in any entrepreneurial development and also the development of the mindset as a basis for that. But I know where my limits are.

– no, like you said It is not permanent. I’m taking a break and felt better now knowing my daughter start taking responsibility

Klaus Forster: 👍

 

Following up one day later:

Klaus Forster: Good morning

How do you feel this morning?

– Good morning Klaus, I feel better, just did my morning walk, breakfast and resting a bit before yoga a bit later. How are you?

Klaus Forster: I read what we discussed yesterday, and I am impressed how clear you are able to analyze your situation!

– I am usually very aligned with my self, know what I want and pursue it. I just need to remind my self that there are things you can not control, other people behavior. And when you help them, stop at helping, do not expect they understand what you are doing let alone expect them to do what you do.

And I need to remind my self that when depression kick in, just acknowledge, and let it go, I don’t need to spoil it.

Klaus Forster: I already thought about that: in the yoga teacher class you will learn a lot about: let go

I can imagine that you are also suffering from the fear to let go of your kids … but at their age, it is time to do so and it is the best present you can give them. Even if not initially, they will be grateful one day and love you for that even more.

– funny you mention self love, that is what we encourage women.

Klaus Forster: Thank you for inspiring me for this

– in our tribe, glamour, and purpose, that self-love and self-care are very important. Thank you for listening to me, advising and writing it.

Klaus Forster: That is what advertising tells us, but that’s not self-love. That is pimping the outside. Even if you are unhappy inside. Self-love is about a mindset.

– Everything is mindset I guess: So the bottom line is how to train your mindset, from fix to growth mindset

Klaus Forster: So true. Thank you for the interview.

What is Entrepreneurship

What is an entrepreneur?

An entrepreneur is a self-employed person who founded his own business

What is Entrepreneurship? As it is described in Wikipedia, it means the process of designing, launching and running a new business, which is often initially a small business. People who create a business are called entrepreneurs. The word Entrepreneurship comes originally from the French language. And it is made up of the words “entre” and “prendre”, as much as “business”.

So, what is entrepreneurship in the classical sense?

It is all of the tasks of the founder and owner of a business got to take care for. But much more it is their mindset. It is considered as an independent, responsible and healthy way of developing an enterprise. Due to this, entrepreneurship requires a great responsibility. And at the same time, it involves taking high risks, because of a lot of entrepreneurs fail financially. This means that the term “Entrepreneurship” characterizes a certain attitude of mind. So that the business can improve its success and chances to compete in the marketplace.

And what is entrepreneurship in a modern sense?

Due to the fact, that creating a business idea and putting it into life is a very creative process. An Entrepreneur is an artist. They got to imagine something special, break it down in executable steps, and turn their imagination into something real. And this never ends, they always have to reinvent their business, strategy, as well as the processes to make the business grow. And the base for that is the mental growth of the entrepreneur himself.

What is Entrepreneurship innovation

In English, the first French entrepreneur describes a personality that is quite good at bearing high responsibility and high risk. The word Entrepreneur is not just about the dull translation, but also about character. It requires a balanced attitude to life and the ability to produce new innovations over and over again.

The accompanying word entrepreneurship describes the entire complex of topics, which includes the field of self-employment. Depending on the reading, you can achieve very different content here. According to Schumpeter entrepreneurship definition, it is the creative destruction of existing structures, in order to establish innovations, that are usually obtained through reorganization. Entrepreneurship as the field of action of an entrepreneur. And it is also gilded as a learnable thinking principle, that can be derived and implemented by “normal” managers. Even though managers do not bear the high responsibility, like the entrepreneur himself.

An example of “what is entrepreneurship”

Imagine you got an idea for a business, and you found it together with a friend. The two of you become entrepreneurs. You invest a lot of your own cash and also the debt capital in your entrepreneurship. You also bear the entire responsibility for the capital. But since you are convinced of the idea of your entrepreneurship, the two of you are everything the company is about. You are two true entrepreneurs. And due to living your entrepreneurship, your business becomes the blueprint of your characters.

Learn more: Entrepreneurship turns out into a happy life …

Experience More Happiness

Experience More Happiness

Achievement is not the source of permanent happiness,
but everlasting growth it is!

Growth = Experience More Happiness

First of all, we need to understand, to Experience More Happiness, we need to grow. And that the speed of growth is proportional to our happiness. How can we improve the speed of our growth, to feel happier along the way? If you are training hard🏋️‍♀️ at the gym, what happens to your muscle?💪 Let’s imagine, you are training with a weight of 50 kg until you cannot make any more repetitions. You feel exhausted but you are happy and proud that you made it!

You know your muscles will be hurting the day after your training, they got sore. And as long as they are hurting, you are less strong than the day before. Due to that, you won’t be able to do the same exercise anymore with 50 kg. Maybe you are still able to do it with 40 or 45 kg at the most. But if you do it again after 2 days relaxing your muscle, you will be able to do the same exercise with 52 or even 55 kg! So you gained quite a bit of strength during relaxation.

So what happened?

After your physical workout you got weaker, but after a rest, your muscle grew stronger! This principle is well known for physical training. And everyone knows how to relax physically. Having a refreshing drink, putting up your legs, having a massage and some delicious food, which is rich in essential oils and protein.

We can learn from athletes to get the right balance between training and relaxing. If you train too often your power goes down and you damage your muscle. But if you do not train often enough, you gain much less than possible. To find a good timing for the next training session the key is to improve the speed of growth. For the average person, 2 times a week is good for physical training. If you are more active it can be 3-5 times a week, but the training should be less intense. If you are in good shape already, training once a week with a high intensity can be enough to maintain your form.

Why do top athletes train each day 2 units a day?

They concentrate on every training on a different section of their body. No marathon runner goes for two marathons a day during his preparation for a competition! And we can learn how to adapt this strategy as well, by switching between different kinds of training.

But how about mental growth? Can you apply the same principles? Of cause, you can. But most people don’t understand how to train and relax mentally.

What is mental training?

Mental training is learning, being creative, and – you probably won’t like this: working under pressure and stress, for example, participating in an exam, a competition or finishing a project until a fixed deadline! Anything that brings you out of your comfort zone and increases your risk tolerance. If your head is getting hot because your brain seems🧠 to burn all of your energy, while you can smell your own cold sweat.😓

That is the stress you need as a trigger for mental growth. You will gain a higher stress tolerance. Similar to the physical training, which stresses your muscle and sets a growth impulse. And yes, it hurts!

Due to avoiding the pain, most people rather try to avoid stress, so they hardly ever get a growth trigger. Other people feel permanently stressed. They feel under pressure at work, are afraid that the taxman gets them, think that the kids are too demanding, having no time and never enough money!💰 They are caught in a treadmill, like a runner who trains by running two marathons each day. They are getting weaker and weaker and finally end up in a burnout and in depression.

How to relax mentally to Experience More Happiness?

This can be done through meditation, breathing exercises or sleeping, dancing, and physical training. Actually, everything that gives your brain a break, which makes you almost stop thinking. 🤔 Sounds easy, but in fact, it is a challenge to think nothing! Especially during rem sleep, which is the deep sleep phase in which you sink right after falling asleep, and periodically later during the night, puts your brain into standby. That’s why one gets around with a hand full of shot sleeping phases per day.

How to find the right balance between mental training and relaxation?

If you are working and working or learning and don’t see any progress, this is like the hurting sore muscle after the physical training. You feel uncomfortable and😣 try to push harder. But this is time to take a rest! You need it the most when you think you can afford it the least. It seems, that our bodies are giving clearer signals than our brains! But this is not true. Especially in the western society, you get more honor if you are looking stressed and overworked than for taking a break at the right time, having faster growth and harvesting the success of it. This gets rather considered as luck! So it is just a bad habit to overrule it.

Taking a break is good airmanship

Fortunately, there are also good examples of this awareness: Air traffic controllers and pilots get trained for listening to their signals of getting tired. And it’s called good airmanship when they say: “I am tired and I need to take a rest.” So another air traffic controller or the co-pilot takes over. They get encouraged to take a break from their education programs. Even it this is basically done for the security of the passengers, crew and flight devices, as well as for the security of flight traffic in general. And we can utilize this strategy for our growth and happiness. To avoid a reduction in your stress tolerance levels, you need to change the habit of constant stress.

For me, it was a great improvement to take each month one week of holiday. I booked a cheap charter package tour in a basic hotel. And I chose the dates in the offseason in a low priced region. So it hardly did cost more than my life back home. So I started working remotely, only a few hours a day. While spending my days with sports, meditation, and walking along the beach. So I kept sleeping long and enjoyed the freedom of mind away from the daily business.

Scheduling breaks to Experience More Happiness

After coming back I realized how much progress was done in my abstinence. And even better, I felt so happy about the gained effectivity, because I learned to get many things organized in a short time after my return back home.

This made it easy for me to break with my habit to stay busy permanently. And I utilize this practice as well as my junk food day each Saturday. Because always eating only the healthy stuff is like being in permanent stress. On junk food day my appetite tells me what is missing in my diet. And it is easy to start, to take scheduled breaks, every 4, 6 or 8 weeks from your work routine. With this increase of mindfulness, you will become more sensitive to listening to your needs. And you will find your own optimal rhythm between stress and relaxation.

Learn more about taking breaks to improve happiness