Welcome back to the coaching program. I hope you've completed your first assignments, gotten a book, blocked the dates, and written down your expectations. If you haven't done it yet, please make sure to do so today. The way to success means doing the right things. I can take care of the "right" things, you have to take care of the "action". Just reading won't change anything!
And you want to change something? Why else would you participate the Entrepreneur Coaching? OK, the time was a bit tight... That's an excuse this time 😉
Until next time, we'll clean up a bit and make time available. For many people, cleaning up is somewhere between popping a pimple and having diarrhea. And in fact, that's exactly what it's all about: getting rid of old crap. Every change starts with this: As long as you don't have freedom, you can't do new things!
You probably know the old movie "The funny world of animals". There is a pygmy who wants to catch a monkey. To do this, he makes a fist-sized hole in a termite mound and secretly hides something in it. He makes sure that the monkeys can watch him. Then he hides behind a tree. A monkey gets curious, runs to the termite mound, and reaches into the hole. There is a stone hidden there. He grabs the stone and now his hand is too big to pull it out of the hole again. The pygmy can now calmly catch the monkey. He can't part with his find.
And that's often how it is for us too. We do things that don't help us, but we can't let go of them. For example, watching N-TV in the morning or looking at the share prices, or the email retrieval every 2 minutes, or permanent access for your employees to your office. Or the habit of replying to all emails immediately. That one series on TV in the evening. Or the regular beer, or cigarette, or...
All the things I just listed have one thing in common: they will not lead you to the life you dream of. Maybe you don't know exactly what you dream of, but that doesn't matter at this point in the coaching program. You probably don't have time to dream. But what is certain is that all these activities will not get you where you want to go. N NMATTER where you want to go.
For this reason, our coaching program starts with making space. Only then can something new emerge. And for most people, it's also a lot easier to say what they don't want than to say what they want. Maybe for you too!
Now, there are very different things that we no longer want in our lives. Some don't want an economic crisis anymore, some don't want bad weather, and still, others don't want to be unsafe anymore. What these things have in common is that we can only influence this very slowly - if at all. If we want to eliminate that from our lives, then we pre-program the frustration.
We just have 3 areas in our lives:
- The area of control,
- the area of influence, and
- the global world.
In the first area, we can act immediately. If the phone rings, we may or may not answer it. We have it under control. If you pick up and it's a customer yelling at you, you can influence the customer's mood. However, you have no control over whether this makes him calmer. And if, for example, interest rates are raised and inflation rises, that affects you as well, but you cannot influence it.
What we want is the following: We want changes in our lives as quickly as possible, at least in some areas of it. For that, we preferably make changes within our direct and short-term control area. For this reason, when tidying up at this point, we should only choose things and activities that are under our direct control.
If you want to save the time you spend in front of your TV, you can call the e-waste dealer and have the thing picked up. The nice thing about such campaigns is: Firstly, you have full control and, secondly, you no longer need any discipline afterward. You could no longer watch television.
Some people's stomachs cramp at the thought. Then two questions arise. First, do you want to change your life? Then you should realize that you always have to pay a price for every change. In this case, the clenching stomach is the price. You alone decide whether you are willing to pay this price. And: NO EXCUSES!
Are you ready: Yes or no?
Secondly, certain activities often hide more fundamental needs. With television, it can be just being left alone and not having to do anything. Maybe you have other needs too. These are important! And we can't pretend we don't have the needs. Rather, the question is how we can meet these needs more productively. Instead of watching TV, you could meditate. Even that is too strenuous for some. Then buy a meditation CD, lie on the bed and just listen. This is certainly hardly more exhausting than watching TV 🙂
The last example in particular points to an important point: It is often easier to replace things or activities than to eliminate them. I had a friend who wanted to quit smoking. The underlying need was, that he had learned during his school days that if he smoked, he was one of the cool people. So he took a little book and wrote down the phone numbers of the people, to whom he already belonged, or wanted to belong to. Then he packed the little book in an empty cigarette pack. And every time he felt like having a cigarette, the little book fell towards him. This made him aware that he wanted to satisfy the need to belong. And then he called some number from his booklet and satisfied his need differently.
So he took up the old habit, changed only a tiny part of it, and created a new habit that helped him to build up a very good and close network in a very short time.
Of course, if smoking isn't related to belonging, but to frustration relief or other needs, you'll have to fill the box differently to make it work.
So far for this unit. Now it's your turn to do something!
- Make a cross-off list in your new workbook. I hope you bought an empty book? Remember the task from last time. Capture everything there that you no longer want to have or do in your life and that is within your control.
- Then answer for each point: What would the price be? Are you willing to pay that price? What is the underlying need? How can you do this more productively?
Now choose three to five points that seem easiest to you and delete them from your life. Attention: It is not about which points have the greatest impact. But about which ones you can most easily eliminate from your life. It's about quick actions and a sense of achievement, which then creates a dynamic!
- And only, when you have these three to five simple points, can you select another one to three points that you will implement. Better less, but consistent and correct!
- If you already have a meditation practice, great. If not, it is a good time to start practicing. To prepare your mind for big changes download and practice the Letting Go Meditation
PS: You now know, what you no longer want. The next coaching for entrepreneurs is about what you want, and your goals for the next year.