Saturday, October 15, 2020: Day 19 - The 30 Day Bali Silent Retreat Challenge Review
Morning meditation with Pak.
A quick coffee and heading back to the bale. Jasmine was alone, so I asked her: "Do you expect Nur to join us, or are you willing to do the class only for me?"
"Of cause, I can do it for you, I even would do it if no one is there, just for me.
But this way we can focus on what you want to do. I there anything special you would like to work on?"
I thought for a moment and said: "Due to running my hemp-strings are shortened, so, any stretching for the legs is welcome. Further, I keep overeating, due to the delicious food here, and I can see my belly getting bigger, so any training for the muscles on my stomach is welcome, too."
She thought for a moment and started with stretching of the hand joints. Firstly, I thought she did not listen to what I said, but while doing so, she explained a lot about the exercises. The practice felt good, and in the end, everything made sense.
She told me about the balance between strength and flexibility. That she is a Bikram teacher, and how well Bikram Yoga serves this balance. Further, she focused on some breathing exercises, which really fired up my energy. And she told me, that it is a good way to prepare for meditation. But against the Bali Silent Retreat rules, to do intense breathwork. Which did not make any sense to me, so I asked: "Please help me understand, why?"
"Patricia, the co-founder, does not want it. It is disturbing the calming and relaxing energy. My initial thought: "Dogmatic brain-fuck!" Right away, I got aware, that I should not judge, and I thought: "calm down, let go, and allow others to be as they are." And I calmed down my mind. Now, listening in silence inside of me, I kept listening to my inner voice. And it said: "Dogmatic brain-fuck!" Well, I realized, I am not there, yet.
Nutrition, the power of nitrate, which is in green raw foods, and that it creates a lot of energy when creating nitrate dioxide in the body. What is needed for that is oxygen. So it is best with deep breathing.
By the end of the class, we shared our opinions about the current situation, and when we started talking about US politics. It became obvious when she talked about the dark forces behind politics, and that politicians are only marionettes of them, in which fear she lives.
She said, that she wanted conscious politicians, but I replied to her, that the people need to be ready for that. And that President Obama was the one with the highest level of consciousness the US ever had. But people misunderstood him because he was too far ahead of the average midwestern republican-dominated cowboy states. Their minds are still in the wild west.
Then I went for breakfast, where I took a seat next to Nur. We looked at each other smiled, and quietly enjoyed our breakfast.
Around noon, I took the bike to get a nail cutter and a shaver. Plus I wanted to get my bike repaired. On the way through the rice field, an elegantly gliding Kranich crossed my way from the left to the right. Immediately Lufthansa came into my mind. The bird was about to land, beautiful to watch it in the short end of the landing approach, it stalled, and came into a standstill on one leg. Lufthansa never managed to do so. It reminded me of the Lufthansa stock, which was quite volatile in the last few days, and asked myself: "Does from the left to the right mean good or back luck?" Anyway, time for an analysis of its development on the stock market and probably a good chance to invest. My first intuition clearly indicated to open a long position.
And then my conscious mind started firing against it: "You have been so often wrong with Lufthansa, losing so much money on this stock. But, to be honest, I simply have not been patient enough with it. Always short time after I closed my Lufthansa trades in a loss, it moved the way I expected,. With a little more patience, I could have closed all of them with some earnings." And anyway, for almost half a year, I have not closed a single trade with a loss. I gained a lot of patience, managing to stay calm if having big losses, and keep on buying cheaper to increase the position.
The first two items were found quickly. Then I was heading to the recommended Benkel-Motor, where I wanted to drop my bicycle, but the mechanics first ignored me, then they moved my bike away, and when I stepped right in his way so that he could not ignore me anymore, he coldly answered my question, if he could repair the bike just with a short "no". This is not the energy, I want you to be in, to fix my bike anyway.
It was time for lunch, and I had a little salad, and I took a cake and a pancake to my room to celebrate it with a coffee. It was almost 1 p.m. time for the palm wine tasting tour with Nikki.
I hopped on the bike, to find the laundry of her friend. But, I did not know where it was. So, I asked at the warung, where we met before. The answer was: "turus" That means straight ahead. I could not find a laundry.
So. I went to Warung Wisnu, to get WhatsApp access over their internet connection. And asked Nikki to share the location. Which was hopeless. Finally, she turned up on her scooter, and told me, that she will ride ahead and wait around the corner for me. And that I should not talk about her at Warung Wisnu. I considered that as dogmatic brain-fuck as well. I wanted to be nice, took my bike, followed her around the corner, but she was gone. This trip was not based on good karma. So, I was glad to go back to the Bali Silent Retreat and find my place in the hammock of the firehouse to keep on writing until dinner.
After dinner, I heard the gong ringing, and I saw Chantuh at the bale, remembering it is a new moon night. This is for the Balinese always a welcome reason for a ceremony. So, I went to the bale and he invited me to join and to sit on my yoga cushion. He lit a fire and explained to me the procedure. It took almost one hour, to do all the explanations, praying, chanting, and blessings.
I went to bed but could not find any sleep, because my ties and my head started itching again. I took a shower and put some coconut oil on it, but it hardly got better. Since I already replaced the pillow, I had no idea, what was causing it. Between my legs, it really looked bad, red, and swollen. Are there also flees in the yoga cushion? Then my neck started itching, actually my entire head. To cure it somehow, I took a shower, shaved my beard and I saw a lot of red dots on my neck. It did not look like mosquito or bug bites, much smaller and many of them. Another almost sleepless night, thinking about the root cause of it. What is my mind, which wrong belief, where am I am not in harmony with the creation, made my skin so sensitive?
Staying in the environment of the Bali Silent Retreat, connected to nature, absorbing the positive energy of the place, eating healthy, fresh, mostly vegan food, I had a hard time thinking about the reason. Is it just the growth pain, which I am experiencing?
I did a skin healing meditation, and finally, I managed to fall asleep, at least for a short while. But I kept waking up, and to make the best use of the time being awake, I continued listening to the healing code audiobook.