So far we have emphasized the advantages of a strong competitive behavior to love challenges. But we shouldn’t be too strict with ourselves. Because one thing needs to be expressed clearly: A pronounced competitive behavior is not the normal state! And due to that, most people don’t have one at all. They tend to cramp in difficult situations. They are not able to deliver top performance when it matters.
We should also be clear: Cramping is the normal and natural reaction for most people. It is considered as the “Normal” behavior in our society if getting stressed. But it is important to understand, that this is not a weakness, no a deficit. It is just average.
But if you want to live as a winner, you need a strong competitive behavior. Who wants to be free, differs from the crowd. If we are targeting big goals, we must be able to accept the tension. We need to have the courage to actively face our fears. In one sentence: We have to face the challenge. We must not run away, retreat, whine. Instead, we need to mobilize our strength.
How to Love Challenges?
Fear and helplessness are anything but positive feelings. On the one hand, such emotions may be completely “normal” and natural, but they are not worth striving for. In general, mediocrity is usually very rarely desirable.
We should strive to develop a certain fighting spirit. There is definitely something positive to love the fight. And we can learn that. We can develop a relaxed fighting spirit. A fighting spirit that is characterized by great serenity. And this serenity grows out of calm and confidence.
Winners have learned to love challenges. They see difficult situations as stimulating rather than threatening. And the good thing is: Everyone can learn to love challenges. It starts with the choice of words: If we don’t talk about problems, but about challenges, we gradually link such situations with positive emotions. And there is a new feeling: The love of fighting.
Please read this again: Love the fight? Many reject this idea and may even find it unnatural. But let’s think about it for a moment. Don’t we know the concept in a weakened form? And haven’t we already agreed on it? I mean a sentence that most have repeated meaningfully. All-time wise men demanded: “Love the way, not the goal.” How important, and how correct!
But fighting is ultimately only what we keep encountering along the way. We cannot go the way without fighting. If you love fighting, you won’t avoid it. On the contrary, there is nothing we can do better than learn to love fighting. It is easy to love victory. But loving the fight requires mental strength. Actually, with mental strength, you will become an aura that impresses others in a way, that you will have to fight much less frequently. It is called respectability, authority, or authenticity.
It may be “normal” to tense up in difficult situations. But it is much more desirable to see a difficult situation as a welcome challenge than as an opportunity to develop. This is how you recognize the winner.
The real behavior
Why don’t so many people withstand the pressure in difficult situations? Why do they cramp? We have already given one reason:
- They have not trained their competitive self. Your mental muscles are not developed at all. Therefore, they fail completely.
The second reason:
- They don’t get along or even break down because they have a rather weak real me. Why is that? Well, most people do everything they can to have a comfortable life. You make yourself comfortable. They develop routines that are good for them. Comfort is a need. They want to satisfy that. So they also find ways and means to do so. And that’s good.
But that’s only one side. The other one looks like this:
- We also have different needs. The adventure and uniqueness. For freedom and strength. After recognition and growth. Yes, we want it to be comfortable. But we also want to learn. These needs are mutually complementary. So, they are complementary parts of the whole.
For many, the need for convenience is big. Obviously, of course. But, they are not aware of that. First, they do everything to be comfortable, and then they are not happy. Because they have become weak from sheer comfort. You are unable to cope with difficult situations or a large number of disappointments. You simply haven’t trained yourself to resist the pressure.
Exercise to love challenges in everyday life
That is why the advice of all wise men at all times is: Live disciplined in your real self. Practice enduring pressure, too. Do not allow yourself to be soft and overprotected. Of course, the wording is always a little different. But the tenor is the same.
Seneca spoke of pampered people. He had nothing but contempt for them. As a stoic, he practiced toughening himself in everyday life. He often slept on the floor, enjoyed the sparse food, and fasted. Most people are not ready for this. As a result, however, it is not surprising that they are hardly able to develop great strength in difficult situations.
If you set up your normal life in such a way that you experience as few difficulties as possible, you would literally be overwhelmed by great difficulties. If you have chosen comfort as your life strategy, you will not suddenly be able to achieve top performance when it matters. Where should we be able to do that? How should we want it? You can also want to train!
Problems are only an unpleasant disturbance for the comfortable one. But for the competitor, problems are the crowning glory of life. Why? Because he loves fighting. He trained and learned that. Even in everyday life.
We can say that too little stress in the form of disappointments leads to a weakened real self. Isn’t it extremely exciting to deal with these issues? And do you know what I find equally exciting? When I meet a very successful person, he has always thought these things through. Always!
Sometimes I meet an athlete or an entrepreneur and think he has enough to do with his training or his company. But in fact, every top provider has gained deep insights. Among other things, that it is not good to fondle your real self.
Do you love money challenges?
Now let’s turn around, back to our original topic: Abundance!
You remember the first letters, the content of which we have repeated regularly. It all starts by noting five successes and learning to save. This is not about crisis situations, this is about our real self. It doesn’t take a big crisis to record five things you are grateful for or to set up your account model. You consciously have the choice to start this right now.
But, what about everyday life? Sometimes we are too tired to bring out the gratitude journal. Sometimes we are too greedy, too happy to save. We want to impress others. But, these two things are the minimum amount of training that we need for our real self. Living well is perfectly fine. But, at least we should save 10% of our income in the beginning, later more. That’s why savings and fun accounts are so important!
Enjoying the day is perfectly fine, but at least we should find the time to record five successes.
For good reason, I keep addressing these two points. Firstly, because a certain percentage of our coaching participants still do not save regularly and make a record of their gratitude … Incredible, but true. On the other hand, however, because those who do so cannot be encouraged enough.
Of course, people who do not fulfill these two basic tasks still want to be able to live well with themselves. They want to be able to look in the mirror, to feel good. That’s why they split their personality, which is called:
Schizophrenic people have two (or more) personalities into whom they “slide” without being able to control these processes. If we want to protect ourselves from blaming ourselves, we tend to behave similarly. Part of our personality (the main ego) says: “After all, I know what I should do.” The other part of the personality doesn’t. What the main ego does not find really bad. After all, it knows what it should do …
But we should put our finger in the wound: Knowing something and not doing it, is much worse than not knowing something. And still wanting to feel good (because you know what is right after all) is just a form of running away. Because we are not really schizophrenic. The authority within us that knows what is right and the one that should implement it are one and the same person.
We need to be clear: we are responsible for what we do and what we don’t. We cannot just switch fronts.
Fight against yourself to love challenges
There is another form of “schizophrenia”, the fight against yourself. Do you know people who insult themselves when they make a mistake? According to the motto: “You are so stupid.” Or: “You always make the same mistakes, you fool.”
That may seem amusing to some, but it’s a devastating self-criticism. Why should we stab ourselves in the back? People who do this never become great personalities.
Then why is this practice so widespread? The answer: it is a form of shifting responsibility away. “We ourselves” don’t make the mistake. “We” in the sense of the flawless, omniscient judge. Rather, it is our other self that makes the mistake.
But the fact is: we are everything we have. We make mistakes and are responsible for them. Here, too, we cannot just switch fronts and fall behind in the back. We have to be our best friend.
Few people can perform optimally in difficult situations. Even less can act well in such situations. There are two reasons for this: Firstly, they have not trained their competitive self. On the other hand, they have a weakened real self. They simply expose themselves to too little stress in their lives. That is why they can hardly cope with great stress.
We have to learn to be disciplined in our daily lives. Only then will we have the discipline to strengthen our competitive ego as planned. And only when we have a strong competitive ego can we benefit from it in important situations.
If you are undisciplined, you will not be able to control your thoughts, you will not be able to think clearly. On the contrary, you’ll just think sloppy. Maybe you will take refuge in some kind of schizophrenia. You will judge yourself which is not good, or you will treat himself too carelessly. This is also not helpful.
The same principles we need to gain mental strength also lead us to abundance, and if we want too, as well to financial freedom. If we keep the success journal, we strengthen our self-confidence and thus also improve our mental strength. We strengthen our real selves and create an important prerequisite for strengthening our competitive self. By saving, we slowly but surely build prosperity and at the same time strengthen our real self.
We have already covered important principles about mental strength. However, we still lack some differentiations. In the next letter on this topic, we will talk about how to properly deal with stress and relaxation: When is stress helpful? When does it hurt? How much stress do we need to develop our mental strength? And at what point do we tend to weaken our mental strength?
Your Thinking Time For Week 6
About Love Challenges:
Do your thinking time in a mind storming manner. That means you write a list of ideas for each question. For 1 week, think every day about the following questions and find for each of them at least one new answer or an example per day. Write the answers down in your journal.
- How much do you love challenges? Determine a value on a scale from one to one hundred.
- If you want to make this exercise a little more precise, recall five situations from the past one or two years that were really tough for you. What was your first spontaneous reaction? And what was your second, more thoughtful response?
- In retrospect, consider to what extent these five situations have actually increased your mental strength. Please try to make these events comprehensible by numbers. Of course, the numbers are very arbitrary, but probably much more accurate than we initially think.
- Do you want to learn to love fighting?
- What about your real self? How strong is it?
- How many problems do you really have in your everyday life? Can you find ways to address some difficulties on a regular basis – for training purposes only? What could you do?
- Do you tend to one of the two forms of “schizophrenia” described? If so, which one? Write down your findings in your gratitude journal.
- What little hardships are you successfully meeting with your real self every day? (Gratitude journal) ATTENTION: These are very often things that do not necessarily seem like a hardship to us. Because we got used to it by dealing with them. Just as it was no longer worth mentioning for Seneca that he often slept on the floor. But his listeners got back pain just thinking about it. We often only become sensitive when another (less trained) person whom we tell about it says admiringly: “Well, I respect that. I couldn’t do it that way.”
- Record five things you are grateful for.
On the 7th day analyze your training plan:
- What kind of challenges did serve you the best?
- What part of it did not serve you?
- How can you plan challenges like that?
- How can you utilize this optimized challenge plan systematically?
- What action will you take, to ensure you will execute your challenge plan?
Vital and happy regards