Tuesday, October 27th, 2020: Learning from the Mental Strength Audiobook on day 0 of the 30 Day Bali Silent Retreat Challenge
In the morning at 8 a.m. I started in Kerobokan, a suburb of Denpasar in Bali. I left my homestay Kampoeng Saya with the bicycle, heading towards the Bali Silent Retreat north of Tabanan. One month of isolation at Bali Silent Retreat is laying ahead of me. Without talking and being offline for most of the time. Meditation, Yoga, sport, thinking time, ... yes and writing ... shall take care of mind and body.
Preparation for Bali Silent Retreat
It actually started already the evening before, when I was editing the settings of my WhatsApp and Email accounts. A quite liberating feeling overcame me, writing the short messages. Because I have been waiting for this moment for quite a while. Actually, since I went for a day visit to the resort, to find out if the energy at the Bali Silent Retreat suits me. So, I put a notice in WhatApp: "Offline until Dec. 2, 2020. In urgent cases send me an email www.4ster.de" And further, setting up the autoresponder for my email inbox: "Thank you for your message. I am offline until Dec. 2, 2020. If it is still relevant, please resend your message after Dec.2. Thank you for your understanding. Vital and happy regards Klaus Forster" I did not expect many people have understanding for this.
Why would someone do this? Leaving his loved one alone, and on top of that punishing himself with neither talking, neither staying connected for 30 days nor even more? It seemed to be quite crazy. Apparently, I was not sure, if I will be able to do so for the entire time. But, I was inquisitive, about what my mind will come up with, in an environment of peace and quietness, to an extent I never experienced before. Well, talking to yourself and listen to your inner voice becomes easy, when having complete quietness, peace, and time on your own. And your intuition is able to give you a lot of answers to questions, you were not able to answer yourself before. So, let's get started and see, what I will learn by taking this challenge.
Mental Strength Audiobook
The 35 km bike ride started about one hour later as planned, due to the rain in the morning. Penebel, a village in the North of Tabanan, near to the volcano Batu Karu, was the destination. And due to the elevated location at the mountain, the ride went mostly uphill and took about 4 hours, including a break for a young coconut in Mengwi, and another one in Tabanan for a snack. Along the way I was listening 3 times to the translation of the Mental Strength Audiobook Day 3 in the Indonesian language, to improve my Bahasa Indonesia skills.
The Mental Strength Audiobook explained the concept of a training plan for mental strength. And how essential it is, to plan recovery after training. Because the growth takes place during the recovery phases. Of course, only if there was some training before. And training for mental strength means, to have phases of stress. The alternation between stress and relaxation makes you mentally strong, and stress-resistant. Whereas permanent stress weakens you and makes you sick, which can be considered a stupid training concept. It almost weakens as much as permanent relaxation, which may be considered as laziness.
Arrival at Bali Silent Retreat
Finally, at noon I arrived at Bali Silent Retreat. The check-in procedure, was short because I already had the introduction to the place on the day I visit 3 weeks ago. And I was happy about the quick procedure because I couldn't wait to take a shower and to get out of my clothes, which were soaking wet due to the uphill bike ride during the almost hottest part of the day.
After the shower, I took a short relaxation nap and did my eye training. Lately, I experienced, that my farsightedness got worse after I got a new pair of reading glasses. After I accidentally sat down on my old ones and broke the frame. So that they became unusable. In the shop, I tried some and chose some stronger ones with -1.75 on both eyes, instead of -1.25 and -1.5 as my old ones. In the beginning, I was so happy and proud of the new ones, because they made reading and working on the computer so much easier.
But, after a while, I realized, that due to the increased strength, my ability to read without them got even worse. So, I did some research, how to heal that. And I learned, the farsightedness increases if you do not want to see something near you. Not only optically, but also mentally. Basically, it is the projection, that you ignore something in your surroundings. And that's why healing starts with realizing that there is a problem within you or with one of your loved ones, which you want to ignore. Improving your awareness of that is the first step of healing. Expressing the problem the next one. Solving it in an open conversation with yourself or the involved person is the actual healing process. I was able to identify it and solve it. But, I can not really be proud of how I solved it.
Due to my strong desire for freedom, I had some open relationships with several girlfriends. Basically 3 at that time. Because I believe, monogamy is a religious brainfuck and against human nature. Actually, it is against nature! There are no monogamous animals. The girlfriend, with which I spent the majority of the time, said, she accepted my desire. But she wanted to be monogamous with me. Which was fine with me. But at the same time, I felt that it hurt her when I met one of my other girlfriends.
I kept ignoring it, because she kept telling me, that her only concern was, that other people were talking bad about me, due to having many girlfriends. Further, I ignored, how much she felt ashamed about that. Anyway, we had great sex and plenty of it. I wanted to make her a well-fucked woman, and so I did. But, it did not make her happy in our relationship. Even if she really grew mentally and her energy was blooming.
Then I met another woman during a cacao ceremony, and she already inspired my mind, when I saw her. During the ceremony, we did some sharing, which is telling the other person something about yourself. For example: What you are currently happy about, or how your perfect day would look like. And she did one sharing with me and another one with my girlfriend. In the end, we shared phone numbers to remain in contact.
A day later, she sent me a message: "Do you like to join for a blessing?" We have a group of 12 people and we are going to a waterfall in the north of Bali. I had an easy time to join because this woman was fascinating to me. During the trip, she told me, that my girlfriend was texting her about me. And that what she wrote, was not very positive. I still had in my mind, that my girlfriend was worried about, how other people think about me. But finally, she translated what my girlfriend wrote about me. And it was her, who was talking, in fact writing bad about me!
Honestly, I did not know how to handle the situation! So, I asked her to leave me alone that evening. I need time on my own to think and to understand the situation. She turned up anyway. I was so angry, that I asked her to leave me alone. She took the kitchen knife and asked me: "Do you want that I kill myself?" I just kept a distance from her, because I worried, that the knife could end up somewhere in my body.
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Vital and happy regards