Originally posted 2019-12-19 15:07:54.
Between all fears, being Jealous or feeling the Fear of Not Being Loved is one of the two strongest ones. The other one is the fear of not being good enough. Jealousy kills your relationship, your life, and your self-confidence ... Or is it the lack of self-confidence, that makes jealousy possible?
Are you Jealous? Watch this!
Source: Youtube, thank you, Julian, for sharing this video!
Your Gratitude Challenge:
- Write down five things you are grateful for:
1. I am grateful for ..., because ...
2. Further, I am grateful for ..., because ...
3. Finally, I am grateful for ..., because ...
Please remember that as your self-esteem grows, due to a feeling of gratitude, your feelings of helplessness and your fears disappear.
And use the Mental Strength 8-week training to help you to deal with your specific fears.
Vital and happy regards
PS: Julian tells in the animated video above a story, that will help you become far from average!
Imagine it is your boyfriend's birthday
You just pulled up and surprise him with a trip to his favorite restaurant. Finally, you get there and get seated. Everything is going great and it feels like this is going to go down as one of the best birthdays ever. Then this glamour lady appears out of nowhere. Her clothes and everything about her seems to highlight your every weakness.
You're not self-conscious about your body, because you're skinny and weak. And the other woman is built like a lotus flower. Your clothes look ridiculous because nobody ever taught you how to buy clothes that fit. the other woman clothes fit perfectly and they're like a spotlight highlight. She is the female and she presents it, almost as if this was designed in a secret lab to be the polar opposite of your every weakness. You try not to show any signs of weakness, but deep down you're praying that she doesn't sit right across from you and your boyfriend.
Are you Jealous? The competition of achievements
The woman passes by you, but then she doubles back and sits directly across from you. Was this woman sent by someone who hates you? To make you look terrible? Maybe she was sent, to ruin what should have been a perfect night. The woman looks over at you, almost as if she can read your mind. And within seconds your hands begin to shake and you start having trouble putting sentences together. And the lady is watching you, every move. Just waiting for you to mess up thing up so he can swoop in and take your boyfriend.
Before the day is over the lady strikes up some casual conversation with your boyfriend. It just makes you feel terrible inside. Because she is the polar opposite of your every weakness. She's like the perfect glamorous lady. She's self-confident, charming, sexy, assertive. Your boyfriend is one of those men, who's really nice and he replies to the ladies' casual jokes. You feel something begins to stir inside of you:
You are jealous
Jealousy is feelings of anger, fear, and insecurity. And since you feel all of these things at the same time it's absolutely not a fun experience. If another woman is flirting with your boyfriend you feel jealous. When someone else achieves something, that you always wanted to achieve, but gave up on. Imagine how jealous you would be if your best girlfriend just got a new boyfriend. The guy you wanted for the last decade. We've all experienced jealousy. When we saw someone we hate succeeding in life. They say success is the greatest revenge and it's true.
With the creation of Facebook and social media. these days everything is instant. If someone you hate just got a new house and you're still living in your mom's basement, you're going to know about it, instantly! If your childhood friend just bought this Lamborghini, and you barely have enough money to buy food. Guess what? You're going to know about it, right away. We even experience jealousy when someone gets something, that we don't think they deserve. Right now. You can probably think I'm at least a few people that you know that received something they didn't deserve.
How the devil of jealousy abuses social media
Those feelings you had her jealousy. The crazy thing is, that most people get it wrong. When they try to figure out why they were jealous. In the restaurant, you think you were jealous because some attractive woman was cracking jokes with your lover. And because of the way he was smiling at her. The truth is, that like many similar emotions, jealousy comes from within. The problem is within you and not the other person! But don't worry, because it is easy in every situation where you feel jealous. It's coming from one or several root causes. Then when the other lady was cracking jokes with your boyfriend you were doubting your own skills and abilities. If you were confident and knew how much you were really worth, you wouldn't have felt jealous.
Jealousy might also be caused by fear or poor self-image. For example: If you think you're ugly, even if you're not, then this can make you jealous. She fears of losing your boyfriend to another woman. Or being rejected can also cause you to feel jealous. Maybe you've had problems with an ex-boyfriend. A shape with new insecurity would be the cause of jealousy. Anything else is just a message from your brain. Contrary to what most people think, the feeling of jealousy does it mean you have some sort of disease. Your brain is just sending you messages and is saying: Hey sweety, you need to change something. The intensity of the jealousy that you experience can vary according to how you feel inside. If you got no confidence and don't know what you're worth, you might get jealous of anything and everything.
Jealous about material things
Even things that aren't a threat to your relationship or the quality of life. Most hopefully you understand the psychology behind it when you look at psychology. You can see that jealousy is like a competition. And you are in direct competition with the person you're jealous of. And to you, it looks like they're going to win! In your mind, the glamours lady in the restaurant is going to win the competition and take your lover. Your best girlfriend, who got a well-paid job is one step closer to having all the materialistic things, you've always wanted, before you could get them. Your best friend who just got married to the perfect guy, but you're still on boyfriend number 6. She is going to have a better life than you. And then you feel jealous, like you're losing the competition, and have nothing to offer.
In the animal kingdom, if another male gorilla tries to sweep up on one of the girls from the pack, the alpha male of the group just beat him into submission until he runs away. Problem solved. For humans, it doesn't quite work like that. So, with that said, how do you overcome jealousy if a sexy woman starts talking to your boyfriend?
Stop competing stops you feeling jealous
With a simple psychological trick, you can instantly stop being jealous. this is something that I used to do back when I used to get jealous. the trick is simple. and all that you that you're not in direct competition with whoever is making you jealous. Let me ask you a question: If jealousy is caused by feeling insecure and unsure of your abilities during a competition with someone else. Then how can you feel jealous if you're not competing with them? By telling yourself, that you're not competing with them. you are removing the huge spotlight that shines down on all of your weaknesses in the long-term.
Self-confidence distinguishes jealousy
A Rock Solid fix for overcoming jealousy is, to developing skills, gaining knowledge, and developing your confidence. Once you're sure of yourself, you'll be glad to take on and crush the competition. But in the meantime, while you are building confidence just tell yourself that you're not in direct competition with the other person. At the end of the day, there is nothing wrong with jealousy. It's how you react to it, that gives it the power to ruin your relationship or makes you feel bad when someone else is succeeding and you're not.
Feeling jealous is nothing more in messages from your brain telling you, that you need to improve certain areas, where you're feeling insecure or unconfident. If you improve your ability to charm people until you feel confident enough to handle any situation. The same goes on. If your brain is saying you need to work on you. Said that you're not directly competing with the other one. I'll be back it's. Improving your weaknesses can happen so much faster than you think, and it doesn't have to take years. With enough effort and courage, you can improve any weakness, especially social skills. Just in a few months. And the temporary pain is a small price to pay, to never feel jealous again. In just 2 months you will get rid of the fear of not being loved by using the
to build your self-confidence and stop you feeling jealous - forever!
Your Thinking Time:
- Write down five things you are grateful for. - Please remember that as your self-esteem grows, you fight your helplessness and your fears.
Use the Mental Strength 8-week training to help you deal with your specific fears.
Vital and happy regards