Originally posted 2019-10-24 22:47:02.
I had a conversation about how to build confidence with a wonderful lady. She told me:
- I lost my confidence.
Klaus Forster: #1 Do you write daily your success journal?
Klaus Forster: Do you know how to do it?
- I think I know, but I would be happy if you could give me a guidance.
#2 Put a daily reminder in your calendar, that reminds you, about 1 hour before you usually get to sleep.
#3 If you really want me to help you, send me every day a copy of your success journal.
#4 Read your past successes in your success journal from time to time, especially when you are low on energy.
How to build confidence?
Write daily in your success journal
Whenever you feel low on energy or unmotivated, it is either due to a lack of confidence or you don't have clear targets. In the worst case, both at the same time!
Why is this connected with each other?
High motivation just means you got a lot of energy. That means the simple equation looks like this:
Motivation = Energy
This part of the equation is pretty obvious, and everyone can confirm that from his own experience.
But what has it to do with how to build confidence and your clear targets?
Motivation = Targets * Confidence
This most likely needs some more explanation. But think about a situation where you had a big dream e. g. owning an own villa with a wonderful garden, a garage full of fancy cars and employees that are serving you. But you were not confident enough to believe that you can reach it. Have you been able to get started? No, your motivation and energy were almost zero. Because
Zero Confidence * Targets = Zero Energy = Zero Motivation
Your energy level after working for a while in a new job:
The other day, you got a new job and you were confident after getting the contract signed, that you will do it really well. But your boss did forget to tell you what your targets are. So you were not able to make the decision in which direction you need to work. You tried out several directions, but after a while, you realize it is not producing results. So you keep losing your motivation and energy. And even worse, after a while also your confidence. This is the frustration phase.
This was not only your fault because as an employee you are working on targets of other people. But you can prevent it by asking for clarification of your target. Actually, you must ask! Asking for it is your responsibility if they are not clear.
Let's switch the perspective: Now you are the boss!
Have you ever had a new employee who seemed to be motivated? Sure, most employees are highly motivated when they start a new job. But after some time every new employee loses his motivation. How can you help him? Look at the second equation. There are two things for you to work on:
1. Clarify the targets
2. Improve her or his self-confidence
Agree with him on targets, that seem to be achievable for him. This supports both, the clarification of the targets and - if he believes that he can make it - it improves your employee's self-confidence at the same time. The other thing is to encourage her or him to write a daily success journal.
By the way, everyone is going through this frustration phase, each and every time when you are learning something new. The more enthusiastic you are in the beginning the deeper the frustration phase will be. You are pretty well off, if you wrote down your successes during the enthusiastic phase, to be able to read them in the frustration phase.
So how to do it on your own, just for your own motivation and energy?
On the first thing, we will work in our business retreats, where we dig deep into our values to find out about our mission, vision and break them down into clear and achievable targets. And the second thing is, to write your success journal.
How to build confidence: For how long do you need to do it?
The great news is: Not forever! I would recommend: Just to do it only as long as you breathe!
How to build confidence: How does it work?
Thinking about your day and concentrating on your successes is a priming exercise. This is very similar to writing a gratitude journal. It makes your brain focus on the positive things of the day. The best time to do it is just before you go to sleep. So your subconscious keeps working on it all night. This brings the fastest results.
How to build confidence: Make the best use out of your success journal
Whenever you feel low on energy you can read in it, which gives you a kick for your self-confidence. Also reviewing your targets helps. Both require that you wrote it down before! By the business retreat, we make sure that you will have clear targets written down. And for your success journal, get someone with authority whom you respect, who does not rely on a good relationship to you. Have this person controlling you, that you write your success journal every day, at least 5 days a week.
During our next
we will also train to write the success journal and focus on the successes. After that, you will be doing it almost automatically.