Everybody has fears. Fear is the major factor for ruining our mental health, our self-confidence, and self-esteem. Most of our fears are just mindfuck. But fears hold us back from doing what we are supposed to do. So we miss out on living the life we deserve, fulfilling our purpose of life, and being a contribution to the loved ones around us, the world, and the entire universe. What a waste of resources and our capabilities!
First let’s take a look, where the mindfuck gets created. Even if this analysis is the dirty part of this story. But we need to understand where the mindfuck comes from, to clean up with some loved habits, which poisons the minds of millions of people and ruins their mental health.
The first common habit is to consume cheap entertainment. Such as horror, criminal and action movies, newspapers, TV, and radio news.
You might think:
That functions the best with bad news. Due to that 90% of the news are negative. If you keep running your television all day, your subconscious mind acknowledges it as a representative of the real world. No one can avoid that. Ok, you might be an exception, but the likelihood of that is almost zero!
Advertising keeps increasing your pain and fear of not being attractive enough, feeling uncertainty, not being clean and healthy enough, not showing your outer status with an appropriate house, car, horse, motorbike, exclusive vacation, …
As a solution, they offer perfume, makeup, insurances, disinfection, medicine and hygiene products, credit, luxury vehicles, theme parks, …
By the end of the day, you do all of this, what you don’t need to impress people that you don’t like, which money you don’t even have! All of these quick fixes are the only treatment of the outer symptoms. Building your outer status based on it gives you a short kick for your ego, but it makes things even worse in the long run!
Announcements at the airport and in train stations such as: “Do not leave your luggage unattended, anytime!” Double and triple check of luggage, passport, ticket, and boarding pass before boarding a flight. Permanent police presence, or more security personal than service personal on a train or bus station. All of that creates mistrust for each and every other traveler and person you meet.
The more you want to control and ensure any aspect of your life, the more uncertainty you will experience. If you concentrate on making your life water prove you will die internally.
Trying to be perfect leads to over-regulation and that makes you focus on the very few and unlikely cases, that are not regulated, yet. Don’t worry, some bureaucrats will take care of that soon. And they will make things worse by doing so. They keep increasing the complexity tremendously without really improving the situation. Instead, it creates a feeling of being externally controlled and helpless.
There is as much news out there which is positive, but they get almost ignored! In fact, there is neither good nor bad news. The news is just as they are. But we are well trained to judge everything. And focusing on bad news trains our ability to judge situations as bad. Which leads to a negative spiral towards fear, mental sickness, and depression.
Stop watching the news, horror, crime, and action movies and cancel Netflix, if you abuse it for cheap entertainment. In the best case, throw the TV out of the window. Or sell it, if you do not mind that someone else will get poisoned by it. Cancel your newspaper if it mostly reporting about violence, crime, and corruption.
Use your gained time to consciously searching and choosing sources of positive news, mindfulness work, and personal development. That will train your mind to focus on positive things, which will increase your confidence, trust, and ability not to judge.
The only status symbol which reduces your fear is located between your ears. The better mental health you got, the higher is your inner status. Actually, it is also the other way around. The higher the inner status is, the better is your mental health. And there are easy ways to train your mental health. This is not a quick fix, but a substantial one. And with the inner status, you will always win in the long run!
In school and especially in technical science we get trained to ignore our feelings. But to overcome fear it is essential to listen to your intuition. Your intuition gives you 10 times faster an answer than your logical thoughts. It is scientifically proven that our logical explanation is only the result of our emotional decisions. And that there are no decisions possible without emotions! Trust your intuition. It will warn you in critical situations. Most people have a hard time deciding if a feeling is an intuition or fear. Intuition feels like love, it is in the present and gives you a solution by taking action. Other than fear. Fear comes with a feeling of anger, hate, or rage, it is in the future and encourages you to run away from the situation or do nothing. Mindfulness exercises like meditation help to become more sensitive to your intuition.
Go for challenges, that are just a little bit out of your comfort zone. That trains you risk tolerance. Jump in the pool from a high 1, 3, 5, 10 meters or a cliff jump in the ocean to gain confidence that it does not kill you. Or learn scuba diving or train free diving to get the confidence that you can breathe underwater or hold your breath longer than you ever could imagine before. Learn to fly a glider. The most valuable lesson will be, landing due to a lack of upwind outside of a landing strip and saving your life. Even if it damages the plane. Have a one night stand, a threesome, foursome, gang-bang. Whatever is slightly out of your comfort zone. All of that will increase your comfort zone and self-confidence in little steps. Taking each first little challenge is an impulse for your growth. Do it continuously will turn you into such a confident person, you would not have been able to imagine before.
Perfectionism is a killer of your self-confidence. Practice doing things and tasks as good as necessary, not as good as possible. The art of in-completion of non-critical tasks is a wonderful habit to gain a lot of time. Perfectionism comes with a long list of rules, how things got to be, and it requires to fulfill all of them! That ends up with a hell of a life, in which you cannot succeed. Reduce the number of rules and simplify them in little steps. Step by step to the max until you have only a hand full of rules which are easy to understand and to practice.
BTW the most of the rules we live, are in our subconscious mind. Which means we are not aware of the rules. These rules reflect our values. And these rules are the majority of our rules of life. We only can influence the minority of our conscious rules. But does it really make a difference if we change this minority? Yes, because we simply have no other choice!
Changing your conscious rules, lets you concentrate on the essential stuff. But what are these essential things?
The concentration on that gives you the most fulfilling life. And fulfillment is the perfect nutrition for happiness. What else are you looking for?
1. I am grateful for …, because …
2. Further, I am grateful for …, because …
3. Finally, I am grateful for …, because …
Please remember that as your self-esteem grows, due to a feeling of gratitude, your feelings of helplessness and your fears disappear.
Vital and happy regards