how to build confidence

How to Build Confidence – Success Journal

I had a conversation about how to build confidence with a wonderful lady. She told me:

– I lost my confidence.

Klaus Forster: #1 Do you write daily your success journal?

– No

Klaus Forster: Do you know how to do it?

– I think I know, but I would be happy if you could give me a guidance.

Klaus Forster:

#2 Put a daily reminder in your calendar, that reminds you, about 1 hour before you usually get to sleep.

#3 If you really want me to help you, send me every day a copy of your success journal.

#4 Read your past successes in your success journal from time to time, especially when you are low on energy.

How to build confidence? 

Write daily in your success journal

Whenever you feel low on energy or unmotivated, it is either due to a lack of confidence or you don’t have clear targets. In the worst case, both at the same time!

Why is this connected with each other?

High motivation just means you got a lot of energy. That means the simple equation looks like this:

Motivation = Energy

This part of the equation is pretty obvious, and everyone can confirm that from his own experience.

But what has it to do with how to build confidence and your clear targets?

Motivation =  Targets * Confidence

This most likely needs some more explanation. But think about a situation where you had a big dream e. g. owning an own villa with a wonderful garden, a garage full of fancy cars and employees that are serving you. But you were not confident enough to believe that you can reach it. Have you been able to get started? No, your motivation and energy were almost zero. Because

Zero Confidence * Targets = Zero Energy = Zero Motivation

Your energy level after working for a while in a new job:

The other day, you got a new job and you were confident after getting the contract signed, that you will do it really well. But your boss did forget to tell you what your targets are. So you were not able to make the decision in which direction you need to work. You tried out several directions, but after a while, you realize it is not producing results. So you keep losing your motivation and energy. And even worse, after a while also your confidence. This is the frustration phase.

This was not only your fault because as an employee you are working on targets of other people. But you can prevent it by asking for clarification of your target. Actually, you must ask! Asking for it is your responsibility if they are not clear.

Let’s switch the perspective: Now you are the boss!

Have you ever had a new employee who seemed to be motivated? Sure, most employees are highly motivated when they start a new job. But after some time every new employee loses his motivation. How can you help him? Look at the second equation. There are two things for you to work on:

1. Clarify the targets

2. Improve her or his self-confidence

how to build confidence

Agree with him on targets, that seem to be achievable for him. This supports both, the clarification of the targets and – if he believes that he can make it – it improves your employee’s self-confidence at the same time. The other thing is to encourage her or him to write a daily success journal.

By the way, everyone is going through this frustration phase, each and every time when you are learning something new. The more enthusiastic you are in the beginning the deeper the frustration phase will be. You are pretty well off, if you wrote down your successes during the enthusiastic phase, to be able to read them in the frustration phase.

So how to do it on your own, just for your own motivation and energy?

On the first thing, we will work in our business retreats, where we dig deep into our values to find out about our mission, vision and break them down into clear and achievable targets. And the second thing is, to write your success journal.

How to build confidence: For how long do you need to do it?

The great news is: Not forever! I would recommend, just to do it only as long as you live!

How to build confidence: How does it work?

Thinking about your day and concentrating on your successes is a priming exercise. This is very similar to writing a gratitude journal. It makes your brain focus on the positive things of the day. The best time to do it is just before you go to sleep. So your subconscious keeps working on it all night. This brings the fastest results.

How to build confidence: Make the best use out of your success journal

Whenever you feel low on energy you can read in it, which gives you a kick for your self-confidence. Also reviewing your targets helps. Both require that you wrote it down before! By the business retreat, we make sure that you will have clear targets written down. And for your success journal, get someone with authority whom you respect, who does not rely on a good relationship to you. Have this person controlling you, that you write your success journal every day, at least 5 days a week.

During our next

Business Retreat in Bali

we will also train to write the success journal and focus on the successes. After that, you will be doing it almost automatically.

 

Experience More Happiness

Experience More Happiness

Achievement is not the source of permanent happiness,
but everlasting growth!

Growth = Experience More Happiness

First of all, we need to understand, to Experience More Happiness, we need to grow. And that the speed of growth is proportional to our happiness. How can we improve the speed of our growth, to feel happier along the way? If you are training hard🏋️‍♀️ at the gym, what happens to your muscles?💪 Let’s imagine, you are training with a weight of 50 kg until you cannot make any more repetitions. You feel exhausted but you are happy and proud that you made it!

“Happiness is when what you think,
what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”
– GANDHI

You know your muscles will be hurting the day after your training, they got sore. And as long as they are hurting, you are less strong than the day before. Due to that, you won’t be able to do the same exercise anymore with 50 kg. Maybe you are still able to do it with 40 or 45 kg at the most. But if you do it again after 2 days relaxing your muscles, you will be able to do the same exercise with 52 or even 55 kg! So you gained quite a bit of strength during relaxation.

So what happened?

Experience More HappinessAfter your physical workout, you got weaker, but after a rest, your muscles grew stronger! This principle is well known for physical training. And everyone knows how to relax physically. Having a refreshing drink, putting up your legs, having a massage and some delicious food, which is rich in essential oils and protein.

We can learn from athletes to get the right balance between training and relaxing. If you train too often your power goes down and you damage your muscle. But if you do not train often enough, you gain much less than possible. To find good timing for the next training session the key is to improve the speed of growth. For the average person, 2 times a week is good for physical training. If you are more active it can be 3-5 times a week, but the training should be less intense. If you are in good shape already, training once a week with high intensity can be enough to maintain your form.

Why do top athletes train each day 2 units a day?

They concentrate on every training on a different section of their body. No marathon runner goes for two marathons a day during his preparation for a competition! And we can learn how to adapt this strategy as well, by switching between different kinds of training.

But how about mental growth? Can you apply the same principles? Of cause, you can. But most people don’t understand how to train and relax mentally.

What is mental training?

Mental training is learning, being creative, and – you probably won’t like this: working under pressure and stress, for example, participating in an exam, competition or finishing a project until a fixed deadline! Anything that brings you out of your comfort zone and increases your risk tolerance. If your head is getting hot because your brain seems🧠 to burn all of your energy, while you can smell your own cold sweat.😓

That is the stress you need as a trigger for mental growth. You will gain a higher stress tolerance. Similar to the physical training, which stresses your muscle and sets a growth impulse. And yes, it hurts!

Due to avoiding the pain, most people rather try to avoid stress, so they hardly ever get a growth trigger. Other people feel permanently stressed. They feel under pressure at work, are afraid that the taxman gets them, think that the kids are too demanding, having no time and never enough money!💰 They are caught on a treadmill, like a runner who trains by running two marathons each day. They are getting weaker and weaker and finally end up in burnout and in depression.

How to relax mentally to Experience More Happiness?

This can be done through meditation, breathing exercises or sleeping, dancing, and physical training. Actually, everything that gives your brain a break, which makes you almost stop thinking. 🤔 Sounds easy, but in fact, it is a challenge to think nothing! Especially during rem sleep, which is the deep sleep phase in which you sink right after falling asleep, and periodically later during the night, puts your brain into standby. That’s why one gets around with a hand full of shot sleeping phases per day.

How to find the right balance between mental training and relaxation?

If you are working and working or learning and don’t see any progress, this is like the hurting sore muscle after the physical training. You feel uncomfortable and😣 try to push harder. But this is time to take a rest! You need it the most when you think you can afford it the least. It seems, that our bodies are giving clearer signals than our brains! But this is not true. Especially in western society, you get more honor if you are looking stressed and overworked than for taking a break at the right time, having faster growth and harvesting the success of it. This gets rather considered as luck! So it is just a bad habit to overrule it.

Taking a break is good airmanship

Fortunately, there are also good examples of this awareness: Air traffic controllers and pilots get trained for listening to their signals of getting tired. And it’s called good airmanship when they say: “I am tired and I need to take a rest.” So another air traffic controller or the co-pilot takes over. They get encouraged to take a break from their education programs. Even this is basically done for the security of the passengers, crew and flight devices, as well as for the security of flight traffic in general. And we can utilize this strategy for our growth and happiness. To avoid a reduction in your stress tolerance levels, you need to change the habit of constant stress.

For me, it was a great improvement to take each month for one week of holiday. I booked a cheap charter package tour in a basic hotel. And I chose the dates in the offseason in a low priced region. So it hardly did cost more than my life back home. So I started working remotely, only a few hours a day. While spending my days with sports, meditation, and walking along the beach. So I kept sleeping long and enjoyed the freedom of mind away from the daily business.

Scheduling breaks to Experience More Happiness

After coming back I realized how much progress was done in my abstinence. And even better, I felt so happy about the gained effectivity, because I learned to get many things organized in a short time after my return back home.

This made it easy for me to break with my habit to stay busy permanently. And I utilize this practice as well as my junk food day each Saturday. Because always eating only healthy stuff is like being in permanent stress. On junk food day my appetite tells me what is missing in my diet. And it is easy to start, to take scheduled breaks, every 4, 6 or 8 weeks from your work routine. With this increase in mindfulness, you will become more sensitive to listening to your needs. And you will find your own optimal rhythm between stress and relaxation.

Learn more about taking breaks to improve happiness

increase the value of your business

How to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business?

To my big surprise, I found the question “How to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business” in an audiobook I was listening to: “The Road Less Stupid”. Actually I enjoyed listening to it because it added a lot of new ideas to my entrepreneurial thinking time. Anyway, I spent some of my thinking time on the question:

How to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business?

How to Ruin Someone's Life or Business

Today is the most essential day of your life. Thinking time is the most valuable time of your day.

One controversial question about how to ruin someone’s life or business I got out of the book is:

“If I would be my competition:
What would I do, to create the biggest damage to my business?”

It means: My own company is A, and my competition is B. What would I do, in the role of company B = my competitor? If I would be company B, what could I do, to damage company A’s = my business?

The first thing to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business that came to my mind was not very charming: “A shit storm on Facebook” 😮 So I posted the following question to the members of my mastermind group:

Klaus Forster:
“The best thinking time question I got today is: If I would be my competition, what would I do if I’d be my competitor to create the biggest damage to my business?”

This started a lively conversation about it with a lady, who was working for television. Where they need to attract a lot of attention. Due to the fact, that bad news is selling better, they need to come up with bad news.

Let me share her story about how to ruin someone’s life or business:

“It kinda remind me of my argue with one of my producer long time ago, probably 14 years ago. So one day our competitor TV series got into number 1. My producer said “So what can we make to take them down?” My reply was I don’t want to create something to take someone down, that is not a good intention. If I want to create something my intention should be to make something good that people can enjoy and add value to their life.

He was angry. So we created something and we only managed to get into top 10. He was even more angry when my other TV series, which I made with another TV company made it to number 1. He thought I paid more attention to the other company.”

Thinking it from a different perspective about  how to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business:

“If I would be my competition:
What would I do, to create the biggest damage to my business?”

The truth was, when I created that TV series I put all my heart into it. I did my research about the hospital, medical doctors, met survivors, that was why the series seemed real and touched many people’s heart. The story was about a teenagers having leukemia having to deal with her sickness. Her family breaking down because of it, her boyfriend and friends going away. And at the end she realized, that the only person that will stand up is herself. And when she finally did, it pulled all her beloved back. Because they look up to her. So for me what important is your intention, success, attention, everything will follow.

The reason why I put all of my heart was because the producer had the same vision of creating something to add more value to life, not to take someone down. So we did what we could to make it good by spending time on research and stuff.

Other mastermind members added to these thoughts on how to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business

  • I like that intention and believe, that if you go around trying to damage others, you damage yourself, in the long term.
  • Yes, there is no point of going out, to taking one down.

Klaus Forster:
I agree, and it is NOT the direction I like to think 🤔 either, because it NOT conforms to my business ethics. Because I think it is not a good idea at all to ruin someone’s life or business. Even though, I want to encourage you to keep on thinking about dirty tricks, illegal or non ethic methods!

It is NOT at all about implementing these ideas, but rather to find the real weak point of your own business. So that you can act on it.

  • I see, now I get it, it is more thinking of what your competitor could do to damage you. So you can improve in that area.
    Good thinking Klaus, thank you for making us seeing this.

Switching perspective on how to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business

Switching the perspective really gave me some good inspirations, which are worth thinking about deeper:

  1. “How to get as much attention as from a shit storm?”
  2. “How can I provide more customer benefits by doing it?”

After thinking about that for a while, I came up with the ideas:

  1. Posting something, that is so funny that it goes viral, instead of a shit storm.
  2. Sending a test buyer to my competitor, instead of sending one only to my business.

So I would be able to create positive attention and to get the information, in which field we are doing worse than our competition?

Before I stepped into my competitor’s role, I was only able to think a test buyer checking my own business. Changing into company B’s perspective, enabled this idea. Doing this, I can learn about the customer experience they provide. Which brings me nearer to the answer to the initial question. So please, hare your ideas about how to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business in the comments below.

If you’d like to improve your business and share inspiration with other female entrepreneurs, sign up for the

Entrepreneurs Mastermind Group

How to Ruin Someone's Life or Business

 

Probably you are curious why I chose the almost misleading title: How to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business. The reason for it is, some considerations about …

How to Ruin Someone's Life or Business

the search engine optimization for this blog. After checking the most frequently used keywords in my initial text, I found out that business, competition, and damage were the most frequently used once. So I put them in Google Adds keyword planner and played around with some phrases that contained these words.

Entepreneur SEO

One suggested phase was: How to Ruin Someone’s Life. It is getting seared for between 1.000 and 10.000 times a months and has low competition. Further, I considered this issue as controversial, that it has the chance to go viral. And many people will read it, and – hopefully – benefit from it. So without doing anything bad to the competition, I implemented both of my ideas from my thinking time about in this blog.

Review on “How to Ruin Someone’s Life or Business”

(Sept. 20, 2018) Three months after publishing this blog, I analyzed with Google Webmaster Tools which of my pages and blogs are appearing the most frequently in the google search results. And it turned out, that this one appeared most frequently! It also had the highest click rate. But I learned that the visitors of this blog stayed about 2 minutes on average, which is about 40% below the average time of the pages. This only lasts, to read half of it. And that almost all visitors left my webpage without referring to another page of it. So I learned, that I need to make the first part of the text more appealing. And that I need to offer more value to the visitors of the blog, by adding links to other related issues on my webpage.

Search Engine OptimizationHow to Ruin Someone's Life or Business.

You can find the audiobook “The road less stupid” here: http://a.co/5oUfXNm

Take your thinking time about: How to Ruin Someones Life or Business

Source: Amazon

Jenny's 30 Days Challange

Confidence – by Jenny Verano

An Inspiration for Setting Your Daily Priorities

to increase your confidence

An interview with Jenny Verano

 

Klaus: “Dear Jenny,

I did learn from you, that you found a wonderful way to increase your confidence. What are you doing to train it?”

Confidence - Jenny Verano's trainingJenny Verano: “Every day I consciously do things that give me some sort of satisfaction and can be considered as achievements, even if they are only very small. It could be doing something that I have been procrastinating but needs to be done anyway. And, of course, there are always major things to get done. It is important to do those first if possible.”

Klaus: ” Yes, most of the time we get interrupted by the urgent duties. Why do you do it in this way?”

Jenny Verano: “I believe that

progress = happiness,

so I ensure I am making progress every single day. When I make progress, I feel happy and want to set more goals to continue growing. Real goals are not about getting things but about becoming something and growing because of it. Then

growth=progress

and the cycle repeats.”

Klaus: “Which tools are you using?”

Jenny Verano: “One of the tools I can think of right now is to decide, out of everything I want to do, what are the one or two things that, if I do them, I will feel like I have had a productive day, and do them first, if possible.

Another tool is to

transform my shoulds into musts.

Building Confidence - Interview with Jenny VeranoJenny Verano: “I learn and apply the knowledge to my own life as well as in helping others to improve the quality of their existence. Today I learned about the manipulations of the ego and how it can affect my relationship with the people I love. Now that I have that awareness I can change my behavior, control my emotions and reactions, so in return I will get better responses from those around me and improve our relationship.”

Instead of saying I should workout I say: I must workout because it gives me loads of energy because

  • my day will be more pleasant, 
  • and I will be more comfortable in my skin and clothes,
  • on top of that, I inspire others around me, to be more active and healthier.

I can go on and on with reasons why I must workout until I am ready to leave the house. Funny enough I have noticed that initially, I do not need to feel motivated to do the actual workout, I just need to find the motivation to get to the gym. Once I am there, well, there is nothing else to do and there are a lot of people making it look so easy!”

Klaus: “Thank you so much for sharing this technique and your experience with us! Even if the daily successes are only small. The compounding effect will create a huge breakthrough after a time! It is said, that Einstein called compounding the 8th of the earth. I guess you are looking forward to the result and enjoy the progress along the way.

Because this builds confidence to create the life you are dreaming of.”

Thank you

Couch Surfing Experiences

Ramadan at the Ramada

Couchsurfing Experiences in Malaysia, source Mr. Drone

I made new couch surfing experiences in Malaysia at the Ramada Hotel. With an amazing view over the skyline of Kuala Lumpur.

Couch Surfing Experiences during Ramadan at Ramada

That’s funny because it’s Ramadan. The apartment I booked through Airbnb and the whole apartment did not even cost 27 €! Couch surfing can give experience to individuals about the way of living with local people.

Couch Surfing Experiences - Rooftop Pool of an Apartment Booked on AirBnB

And to live with locals makes a big difference. You get much more of their way of life. And you get tips that are not in any travel guide. I have already made very good couch surfing experiences. Like changing my itinerary in Singapore in February to fly to Phuket together with my host and her girlfriends. Booked in the evening, flying together the next morning to Thailand. Therefore, today I would like to recommend AirBnB.

If you do not have AirBnB account yet, you can get access using the following link: www.airbnb.com

Plus you will receive a 25 € credit for your first booking! But there is a lot more interesting stuff here:

What can you learn from your couch surfing experience?

How to connect only through one middleman between the guest and the landlord. This is awesome and is similarly done at Uber, Go-Jek, and Greb. The value chain is short and without high costs or commission. The most amazing thing about it is: The frontend of the AirBnB-webpage looks like it is programmed with love 🙂 Look at booking.com and you see a webpage that is programmed with greed 🙁

Expensive couch surfing experience in classic sales channels

This is very different from the traditional distribution networks. The manufacturers sell their products to the export enterprise, they resell it to the shipowners. They sell it to the importing enterprise, who then delivers the goods to the wholesaler, he distributes it to the shops of the retailers. And finally, the consumer buys or orders his product there. How many middlemen? Too many!

Couchsurfing experiences at the fuel station

You do not want to know how many times the petrol has changed hands until it ends up in your tank! As of today, one barrel of crude oil costs 64 €, that is 159 liters per barrel or equals to 0.40 Euros per liter. At the petrol station, you pay over 1.40 € which is a surcharge of 250%! There are of course transport and processing costs, but most of it goes for the profit margins of middlemen. And have you ever been curious about the fact, why the fuel did cost about 1.20 € even in times when the barrel was traded for only US$ 30? Back then the surcharge was over 400%!

MLM Couchsurfing experiences

That’s almost the same with multi-level marketing (MLM) systems. Even if the producer delivers the pills directly to the end-customer, there is a long sales channel of the MLM freelancers. All of them get a commission out of the turnover. That’s why selling in an MLM system is only possible for products with an incredible sale margin, such as nutrition supplements. They are getting sold with arguments like: “Your health should have a higher value than 2 € per day to you.” The manufacturing costs of the pills are in the mEuro range (1/1000th of a Euro). But I have already written about the Minerals in Food.

The business model for good couch surfing experiences

With your business idea, you want to think about this question: How can I remove all of the middlemen? Uber, AirBnB, Greb, and Go-Jek have one thing in common:

They do not own the infrastructure to produce or deliver their products.

  • Uber doesn’t own any cars that drive as taxis.
  • AirBnB does not have buildings, which is used as a hotel.
  • Greb does not own scooters that are used for public transportation,
  • and Go-Jek does not even have pizza ovens, but most likely the deliver the most pizzas in the world!

How can YOU become the AirBnB in your business field?